I don't think I've been offline for so long before. It wasn't deliberate - at first I just couldn't think of anything to say, and then I started multiple times and got stuck and abandoned multiple posts. And then I realized I'd been gone for so long that probably no-one would even notice I'd come back, it didn't matter what I said.
So yeah, I haven't been doing very well. I tried increasing the dosage of the antidepressants nut my mood kept swinging whilst I also felt groggy and dopey for half of the day after. So I went back to the original dose and asked the doctor I last saw if I could reconsider my instinctive rejection of HRT and I was hoping she'd just prescribe the patches but she wanted me to have a blood test first, and I hope to hear tomorrow that she's now happy to prescribe them. In the meantime I can start the day cheerful-ish, feel suicidal by 10, want to quit my job by 2 and feel a bit better by 4. Or vice versa. Or versa vice.
In the other meantime I wasn't dieting or weighing and that went so well that now I'm at a new all-time high weight and even had highish blood pressure when at my appointment (probably stress related)
So I'm trying to low carb again since that prevents me thinking "I'm not dieting so just one bag of crisps (and chocolate bar) doesn't matter though I'm not going so far as to count carbs or cals.
I'm so over all this crap.
OH yeah, and Google wants me to say that if you happen to find your way here I won't be saving any data about you.