I was hoping that I was on the way up last week but apparently what I had thought was to keep bottom was actually on a narrow ledge alongside a further drop and I wasn't pointing in the right direction after all.
I binged yesterday and that was after overeating all weekend.
It seems to me that my off switch was turned to the on position and then snapped off so I couldn't use it.
I have no sense of moderation. If I try to restrict I hope crazy. If I don't try to resist I feed my cravings and go crazy.
But if I'm trying to restrict at least some of the time I'm not actually trying to explode myself.
I'm going to try to do a whole 30 again starting at the weekend (so I can get my weekly shop on Friday to stock up for it) and I hope by then I might manage to convince myself I haven't already failed at it.
I've had a niggling not too bad headache for about a week and I'm losing the will to live.
Perhaps I need to be locked in a padded cell with a slot in the door allowing only real, healthy nutritional food in. Does anyone have such a room? I only need it for a month or two. Or three.
ETA Food today :
Breakfast : 2 hard-boiled eggs with packaged salad and commercial caesar salad dressing (I know that's not the best choice and plan to make my own for the whole 30)
Lunch : aldi skinny Thai carrot soup followed by fat free greek yogurt and raisins
Dinner : homemade sausage and bean casserole with broccoli
Snacks: watermelon fingers, satsuma and apple