Thursday, 16 March 2017

I am becoming a recluse

As my job situation is unchanged I'm getting more depressed, more frustrated and more desperate. I'm sleeping worse than ever, have very little interest in going out and about, lack energy and feel physically crappy.
Although anyone who's read this blog for a while - or looked at the archives - will have plenty of evidence to refute this statement, I don't actually enjoy writing the same self pitying stuff over and over again, which is why I haven't posted for over a week. I know that not posting - and as a result not getting comments that might help - only makes me feel worse but that hasn't seemed like a good enough reason to do so.
Thank you Joy for your comment, I really do appreciate you taking the time to check up on me. I'm sorry to repay you with all this complaining, but it's all I have at the moment - I just want to 'take to my bed' and hibernate until my life stops sucking.

6 comments:

  1. Sending over lots of love - I'm so sorry things are not good and do understand that frustration from feeling you don't have a purpose.
    Would you welcome suggestions or would they come over to you as patronising and/or critical? I would hate for me to seem like that.
    Much love and sending positive vibes over.
    J xxx

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  2. Chrissie I have been worried about you and it would seem with justification. I'm so sorry you feel so down it is horrible. I go along with everything Joy says none of us want to make the situation worse. I have had periods just as you describe the only thing I can say is that it will pass not that that is any consolation when you have the black dog!!! I got so desperate one winter when I had been trapped in the house with a small baby that I decided to go out and make a friend so I just knocked on a door and introduced myself. The lady who answered the door said thank God I am going stir crazy and haven't seen a soul for months please come in and have a cup of coffee with me. We became very good friends she was too afraid to make the first move. You are a bright intelligent woman with lots going for you may I suggest taking the bull by the horns and doing something. If this seems too much then maybe you might think about volunteering for a few hours just to get you out and with other people it is difficult to be miserable in company!!!!

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  3. You are very computer literate so how about taking on an old person to help them get to grips with the new technology. My friend volunteers for an hour a week at her local library to do just that and she is very pleased to help though she is not a computer wizard. Perhaps this would drive you crazy I dont know it is just a suggestion.

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  4. All good suggestions anove but hard to do feeling the way you do. The first step truly is the hardest. Be kind to yourself. Wish I could say the magic words to make you feel better. Know that you are cared about.

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  5. My dear Chrissie,
    I echo every single thing that has already been said - be kind to yourself above all else.
    Having been where you are right now very recently, it is really hard to make that step.
    But, for me, volunteering helped - it got me out, gave me the reassurance that I was not just a useless lump and reminded me that people are generally lovely.
    Having moved to a new area, you won't have had a chance to make local friends yet - maybe that's a way to break the ice too.
    I really wish I could give you a hug, and tell you that things will get better. I feel that they will, but it may sound like a the usual platitudes right now.
    I know Nottingham is not nearby, but if you ever wanted to meet in person, say the word and we can find a way.
    Zen hugs for now,
    Deniz

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  6. I am so sorry, Chrissie. I was in that spot for the past month or two - just wallowing and feeling numb and depressed. Hugs and love. Just take one little step at a time.

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