Today I avoided a repeat of yesterday's mistakes by not leaving the house at any time. It seemed a waste since it was a beautiful sunny winter's day, but not going out allowed me to do lots of revision while not eating a cake the size of my head, so I considered that an acceptable trade.
My exercise today was provided by the deterioration of my brain. It took me 3 trips upstairs this morning to bring down a single wine glass. (The first time I was distracted by the laundry basket, the second time I got dressed instead, and the third time I had to walk straight into the room without switching the light on or looking to either side so that I couldn't accidentally catch sight of something else to do) In each of the first two trips the only reason I worked out what I'd failed to do was because I'd left the dishwasher door wide open and ready to receive the glass. I know everyone experiences the "why did I come in here again?" feeling, but twice in 5 minutes? I'm so getting old.
Still, at least I managed not to add another inch of flab to the layer I added to my thighs yesterday. It's a shame I had to make myself a prisoner in my own home to achieve it, but whatever works and all that.
I also managed to do laundry, change light bulbs (all by myself!!!), book our company Christmas do, make a massive pan of chicken bone broth and pack a box of kitchen stuff just so I could feel like some progress was being made towards moving house. I get a lot more done when I can't go out. (I'm not saying I do a lot, just a lot more than my usual virtually nothing). I'm exhausted now. Did I mention how old I'm getting?
This morning I walked to our local Homebase store for some light bulbs, failed to get them, and walked home again, via a Marks and Spencer Simply Food store where I bought all manor of evil food and ate the lot. I don't know what triggered me (I mean, I hate DIY stores but I'm not sure they're THAT bad) other than boredom and frustration, but I practically put myself in a sugar coma and at the time felt I could have eaten more.
The most excitement I had today was reaching the end of my training book - and going back to the beginning to refresh my memory of the bits I haven't looked at since the whole house business came along and took over my life & my brain! 😵
This morning I decided to go for a walk early, before there was any likelihood of having to respond to any emails or phone calls - hah, what was I thinking? Not one phone call and no emails till after 5pm, so I could have gone back to bed, then walked, then... whatever I wanted all day.
My walk started off well but came to a sudden rapid end when I realized that the epsom salts I took this morning for constipation were already taking effect and I needed to get home real quick! I still managed just under 4 miles so it wasn't a dead loss, but god I hate walking while the kids are heading for school. From now on I will hide indoors till the school doors close behind them and the streets clear again. They are so NOISY and so oblivious to other pedestrians trying to use the same pavements as them.
Anyway, my food was good, I had to take a little nap mid morning but am slightly less knackered now. I might have slightly slightly had a small drink this evening though. Ah well, baby steps
Just a whole lot of no news, no progress, no change.
Lots of rain today but having seen flood photos from around the country we've got off lightly and I'm not going to bang on about it. I managed a couple of short walks in between the showers and I ate inappropriately but didn't drink. Count your victories where you can, however small they may be...
I did not behave myself at the weekend in any respect. On Saturday I went out for a long walk - but I'd slept badly the night before so instead I had a coffee in the coffee shop and a read sitting in the library. On Sunday I didn't have coffee or library but I didn't do any better on the walking front and both days I overate on carby crap. I was feeling rather down, which I suppose isn't massively surprising when sleep deprivation is combined with stress and having a permanently depressive personality. I'm also worried about my mum at the moment. She has a hip condition - on the same side as her hip replacement - and the last few days it's been so bad she can neither sit down nor stand up straight. Last Thursday she was injected with corticosteroids to reduce the inflammation and it was helping but today she's bad again and relying on co-codamol to just get about. It hampers her life as a whole and keeps her awake a lot, and it can't be good for her general health but apparently the injection is all they can do :-(. I wish I could help somehow but there isn't anything to do... I'm probably asking how she is a little too often, but she hasn't told me to stop fussing so far :-)
Add in the truly miserable weather today and I'm not feeling too cheerful today. However I do at least see some reasons for the way I feel, most of which will be relieved fairly soon I hope, so it is better than the nameless reasonless seemingly endless kind of depression. We are hoping for some major progress on the house front today or tomorrow and I'm clinging to that a bit. But I want to eat a chocolate fudge cake. Yes I said 'a' not 'some'...
Sorry I've been offline for a few days, I've just been really tired and pretty inactive due to back pain so I couldn't quite find the will to blog.
So where do I start catching you up?
I had a quiet weekend, no real walks, just watched a couple of movies and lots of TV really.
On Monday very little happened regarding the house purchase or the job hunt. I did make a trip to the next town up the train line so I could find the exam centre for the certification I want to get - make sure I can get there safely without the car, mainly, as My is currently using mine. I got that sorted quite early, was home again by 10 and booked the exam (not telling you when, I'll just tell you if I pass)
On Tuesday morning we received a million house purchase documents via our conveyancer's electronic portal so I spent a couple of hours printing out important documents and reading even more documents online. It was a good sign of progress after nothing really happened on Monday. We also got another opportunity to pay out a massive chunk of money so that was nice :-(
Yesterday was the best day of the week so far, as I met my brother in Reading for lunch and a wander around - and a useful mental health break. I find that doing something like a house purchase when you're not working means it's on your mind pretty much 24-7 without the ability to leave it at the end of the day the way you do your day job when you are working, so it was really nice to be distracted from it all, though I still had a couple of emails and phone calls to deal with. It was raining first thing when I put the bin out - just a light drizzle - sunny in the morning, grey in the afternoon - and absolutely pissed down at exactly the right time to half drown me as I walked back from the train station. Still, I got plenty of walking in and really enjoyed myself, but today I'm suffering again from the back pain so I have very little planned for today.
And now you're up to date :-)
Thanks for checking up on me, Joy, it means a lot to hear from you when I'm going all inward facing xxx
Well, the financial markets etc seem to have calmed down amazingly quickly. I don't understand that - after all he's threatening to rip up all the trade agreements, or has he backed down on that? M thinks the suspicion and dislike of his Trumpness within his own party basically means he'll be blocked from achieving any of his insane plans anyway, so here's hoping that M is right about that.
In the meantime, on a personal note, spending large periods of time gawping disbelievingly at the InterNews has distracted me from worrying about the house move for a couple of days. I wouldn't choose a world shattering political upset that makes Brexit look like just another day in the trenches as a distraction for my petty little problems, but if such an upset has to happen I guess it's good that it did me some small favour.
On Tuesday (after posting my in depth study of the election results ;-)) I proceeded to eat (and drink) all the carbs. I'm not even feeling bad about that, since I think most of the developed world probably joined me. My version of the hot sweet tea after a shock happened to involve pastries and chocolate, but the result was probably the same. Yesterday I wasn't even tempted by all that crap anyway so unlike my usual 'one day off leads to a bad week' pattern it seems - so far - to have been just an unplanned cheat day. I have decided that I may have to drink my way through the period until DT either gets impeached or has a mysterious accident so if I don't say I was booze free assume I wasn't.
Yesterday I had another knock back on the job front and now I'm thinking after we move back to Wales I'll ask for an application at the local Asda superstore. It's not like I even like Testing anyway.
Today its the rescheduled Removals company quote visit. Please keep your fingers crossed that the M4 manages to stay open all morning, at least between Bristol and Reading, so we don't have to put it off again. Apart from that everything is now happening in offices across the country, and I currently have nothing to do but wait... and phone up asking for progress reports... and wait...
My brother arrived on Saturday morning, later than expected because the Highways Maintenance darlings had closed the slip road he was supposed to leave the M4 on and he got lost trying to work around it. We headed off to the train station pretty much as soon as he got here and were in Waterloo just after 10:30 (also later than expected because rail maintenance work led to a slight diversion and a speed restriction)
We walked from Waterloo to Westminster Pier and boarded a City Cruises boat for a boat trip to Greenwich and back. This was as good as it always is, with an interesting commentary I'd more or less forgotten since the last time we did it. In Greenwich we walked around the Saturday market, bought some lunch at the food stalls and had a brief wander through the Royal Naval College before catching a boat back to Tower Hill so we could walk back to Waterloo alongside the Thames. It was cloudy most of the day, though the sun was breaking through the clouds by the time we boarded our train back, with a cold wind, and we didn't manage our usual walking distance - under 10 miles - because of the late start and the boats.
But we were both tireder than usual because I kept waking up in the middle of the night and he'd just finished two solid weeks of work including the weekend in the middle, so we probably wouldn't have been up to doing more.
On Saturday evening we got a piri piri chicken takeaway and chatted a lot. Because of the fireworks (I hate fireworks, in case you've forgotten) banging and hissing all around there was no point trying for an early night.
On Sunday we caught a train to Virginia Water and walked through the village to the Virginia Water lake in Windsor Great Park. It was bright and sunny with a bitterly cold wind and we just walked and talked for hours. The park was lovely but could have been improved by having more toilets and more eating choices - I was forced to eat a sandwich against my will because that was all that was available (though it was tasty)
Sunday evening was just TV and chatting till my brother had to leave to drive home ready for work this morning. Although I was forced to eat some bread and chose to eat some some rice, plus a tiny bit of pastry, I didn't overeat much and certainly didn't binge. I resisted all sweet stuff and felt pretty good about my choices. So no feelings of guilt to spoil the weekend!
Yesterday didn't turn out too badly in the end after my moaning in the morning. Around lunch time we fired our solicitor (after 3 days they hadn't even written to us with the client pack that starts everything off) and went for an online company recommended by our mortgage broker. They had us set up on their portal the same day and after a whirlwind of document submitting I think we're now waiting on them for step two. I was also doing the same thing for the broker (with many of the same documents) so I was left not knowing which way was up in the end.
Today I was due to get a quote for the removal company but thanks to an accident closing the M4 she didn't make it so we have to wait a week.
While I was waiting for her M called to say someone tried to steal his motorcycle from the office car park - in the process damaging the bike slightly and its lock sufficiently that his bike is basically immobilized. At work, 20 miles from home. Absolute scumbag bastards, I'd like to run them over with my car!!!
Still waiting to find out what will happen, it looks like recovery to the dealer as they couldn't get hold of a specialist locksmith to remove the damaged lock. Apparently the bastards went at it with an angle grinder...
Today sucks. It may be the first time all week I'll need some booze... I woke up at midnight again last night, very obviously stress / anxiety, so I might need a sleep aid tonight too...
I'm already fed up with the moving thing again. We've had an agreement in principle for a mortgage and apart from that seem to have made no progress at all. In the meantime I've attempted to study for my exam (which I was hoping to take next week) but every time I start trying to read about equivalence partitioning and boundary value analysis (if you don't know, don't ask - just celebrate your happier life) thoughts of removal companies, proof of id's and supporting documentation keep forcing their way into my brain... I'm hoping if I can get a couple of the early bits sorted out I'll be better able to study while other things go on elsewhere. As a result of spending so much time on the phone (which I hate) and on the computer (which I am growing to hate) I'm really uninspired to start posting in the evening, which is why I'm writing this in the morning before my blood pressure starts it's daily rise... My brother is visiting this weekend for a (probably) last trip to London for a while, hopefully that will be a relaxing distraction that will be greatly needed by then. Diane, your mother is a hero to survive over 30 moves - especially as I know some of them were across the world - sadly I'm not so competent or resilient :-(
And that has been my last couple of days... I will be back as soon as I have something to say (complain about) or as soon as my brain stops running madly in a million directions at once, whichever happens first. And sleeping past midnight wouldn't hurt either. Does anyone have any foolproof coping therapies for anxiety? I'm not depressed, just really really anxious...
ETA I've spent the last 3 days doing an egg fast diet and lost 4 lbs of bloating to get to the lowest weight since Mirtrazapine. That isn't saying much as I've been losing and regaining the same few pounds ever since I stopped taking it and am still decidedly overweight, but it's a glimmer of light in the tunnel. Sadly the anxiety I'm currently feeling will probably trigger something regrettable before long... Why am I not one of those people who stop eating when they are stressed???