I didn't have anything to eat today that I could regret. I'm not losing weight the way I'd like yet but I figure that I probably haven't cleared the mirtrazapine from my body yet and it is apparently related not just to rapid weight gain but also persistence of that weight gain after stopping the drug so I'm trying to get my head around the idea of just taking my time about it and persevering even though it sometimes feels a bit unsuccessful. Like everyone I want fast results and deep down feel that being good for almost a week should be reflected by a massive drop on the scales / clothes size but I'm not (yet) disheartened. Just feeling in control again is enough for me right now! At 12 today I had a meeting and as I wasn't very hungry in the half hour or so leading up to it I decided to leave my lunch until afterwards. Half way through I felt really hungry and for a few minutes considered going into the village for something 'better' than my packed lunch - a sausage roll was top of the temptation list. It took an internal debate that lasted long enough to probably make me look insane to anyone watching the look on my face, but I persuaded / nagged myself into eating the food I'd brought in with me - and then was way too full to want anything else. I'm very very very sure that mental conversation wouldn't have gone that way before I escaped from the fattening pills. Yay me!!! Oh yes, between the meeting at 12 and the hunger / desire for food at 13:00 I didn't have time for a lunchtime walk either. Oh well, the body demands what it needs, and if I'd waited any longer to eat my resolve might have failed me. So I won. Another day another battle but I'm starting to feel like I may be on the winning team now :-)
Thursday, 23 June 2016
No walk this morning
I didn't train this morning as per my plan, but I did think I might get an early walk in - until I got up and looked out at the rain anyway. I think I was half aware of thunder in the early hours but I was using a fan which provided some white noise to blank a lot of it out, so it didn't really disturb me, but sadly that didn't make me waterproof so the torrential morning rain kept me indoors. It also made for an interesting drive to work as some of the rural roads I use in Berkshire were flooding nicely and at one point, as I went through a flooded patch at the same time as someone going the other way, I was literally blind for a second or two - I imagine that's how it would look if you drove straight into a river.