Monday, 13 June 2016

Monday again?!?!?

Another weekend of very mixed moods for me - longer walk (well, two short walks adding up to 5.69 miles) followed by tears and raised voices Saturday, not too bad Sunday despite being trapped indoors by miserable weather (literally didn't leave the house). I spent a lot of the weekend prepping food for this week so I wouldn't have much cooking to follow in the evenings after work. The downside of that productivity is that I feel my whole week - including the weekend - just revolves around work. Three loads of laundry, cooking for the weekend and cooking for the week... (I actually didn't do all I intended to because I just got sick of it after a while, which I will regret by about Wednesday.)  All crammed into 2 days. With some tidying up just by way of light relief. Sigh. I did make it to the library as well at least.
And now I'm back to work again and still feeling unconvinced of my ability to do this damn job.
I didn't binge over the weekend (though I did overeat a little bit yesterday) and drank just a little - nothing I'm worried about. 
Last night was not particularly good for sleep and I woke up - and got up - quite early. Always nice to be tired and foggy brained before the day even gets started. Still, at least the doctors appointment is this evening - something to look forward to (that's a phrase that's never been used before in the history of medicine)
I remembered my protein shake before work so wasn't too hungry this morning for any control. Of course bingeing has very little to do with hunger beyond the trigger so I was still having dangerous thoughts about triggering foods this morning - so once again no walk before work. 
I'm so unmotivated and fed up today - I'd love to comfort myself with a bakery of doom fruit Danish the size of my head but that would push me down the slippery slope so I'm struggling not to....


  1. I do know what you mean. When I was teaching I felt exactly the same, complicated by the need to mark, assess, prepare, plan as well. Sometimes it felt there was never any time to just be me.
    A suggestion - can you afford to get in someone to do a couple of hours of housework a week? It's amazing the difference it made to me, once I had managed to get over my sense of 'I should be doing that'.
    J x

  2. Here here on that one Joy look at it as if you are helping someone less fortunate by employing them.