Yesterday it occurred to me that probably this new depressed phase is down to still feeling stupid and angry with myself over the internet scam. And maybe the bingeing on food guaranteed to hurt my weight and digestive system is more about punishing myself than comfort.
It didn't stop me eating badly yesterday, but I didn't actually binge so that feels like a step in the right direction.
As M said to me yesterday, I can't change what happened so I need to move on. While remembering the lesson, of course.
Yesterday we went to Wetherspoons for their Curry Club (I didn't have a curry but M likes their Flaming Dragon curry). I drank draught beer and ate way more than I generally eat at night but truthfully have no regrets on that - it cheered me up to have a change, go out, and chat to a couple of total strangers at the bar. And today, even though I'm shattered because the beer (or the chips and onion rings) interrupted my sleep even more than usual, I'm actually feeling on a more even keel.
Thanks Diane, Joy, and Rachel for you comments yesterday. I am following Diane's suggestion of thinking about things to be happy about / thankful for - and you are all high on that list for your support and caring xxx