It's taken one day for me to remember how much I want to retire. Actually it took 1 hour but half a day of talking about people's holidays allowed me to get through the first Monday back. Now I don't have that anymore.
This morning lasted 17 hours. At least. But eventually it was lunchtime and I went for a walk with my walking buddy who was reluctantly spending a day on the construction site that is (still) our office instead of working from home. It was cold, overcast and dreary but not raining and the company was good so as often is the case that hour was the highlight of the day.
But in the afternoon... The noise, THE NOISE. Lots of noise from some roadworks outside as well as the construction in the building. I felt like my brain was vibrating inside my skull at one point.
I was desperate to get out of there by about 10 am. By 2 pm I would have sold a kidney. But somehow I lasted until 4pm - and didn't even trample anyone to death on the way to the door because I have amazing self control and professionalism.
Although I enjoyed some aspects of yesterday I still felt like a drink by evening. As I sipped the last drops of my (double) whisky I decided I need a break. So I did something ridiculously simple to give myself at least one night off, and it worked perfectly. You see I generally keep the whisky in the kitchen with me and it's a lovely aperitif while I'm cooking in there - with the door shut to stop the cooking smells permeating the entire house. But I'm genuinely embarrassed by how much I want a drink to unwind after managing to cut back do much last year - and I'm using the embarrassment as a tool. I've started packing non-essential stuff ready for the move, storing it in the spare bedroom. We live currently in a small bungalow that doesn't have a proper Hall so to get to the spare room where the whiskey now lives I have to walk through the living room, where M lives in the evening. I've told him I'm taking a booze break and now I would have to walk past him carrying the whisky and demonstrating my lack of will power if I wanted to have a drink. Hopefully that will at least be enough to make me think twice about it (even if it isn't necessarily the most adult, mature or healthy approach). I'm not declaring I'll never drink again (especially with a house move in close proximity) but I want to break the habit.
Today was Day #1 booze free and a day when I ate nothing unapproved (even though people brought plenty of temptation into the office)
Add in 3.75 miles walking (I'm cheating a bit there by including just going to the kitchen for a coffee /going to the bathroom upstairs) and today wasn't terrible at all.
One day at a time....