Friday, 22 January 2016

Its official - I'm stupid

I had a bad day yesterday. 
Remember how I've said I'm forgetful and / or stupid on the antidepressants I'm taking? I'd like to blame them but I'm not sure I can.
I fell for an online fraud which may cost us money. I don't want to talk about, write about or rehash it on here so I'm not giving details or asking for advice. But I'm really embarrassed - particularly given that I work in IT - and as a result I'm a very unhappy bunny.
On the plus side I think I'm 'normal person who screwed up and now hates everything and everyone (present company excluded)' depressed not slash my wrists depressed. So I can choose between depression and competence but not both. If, that is, the drugs are responsible.
So that was yesterday. I tried to comfort myself with a packet of biscuits but just felt sicker. 
This morning I woke up more or less resigned to the situation to start a horribly long working day, with my normal 7 to 4 followed by a deployment to release to the clients. It was stressful and busy till lunchtime but I was OK with that as a distraction from the other more personal stuff. It was also a horrible day in terms of the weather - much milder but decidedly wet and dreary. So no sunny walk at lunchtime. No walk at all in fact. I worked from 7 till 12:30 at a mad pace, from 1:30 till 4 at a more restrained rate, then from 4 till 8:46 pm at an 'I really wish this was over ' pace. I suppose I should be glad of the chance to bill a few more hours, all things considered... but I'm too tired right now. No binge today because I had nothing to binge on and no time to get anything - I guess that's something to be pleased about anyway.


  1. Are you trying to steel my stupidity crown!!! Don't tell me you are human after all. Cheer up we all make mistakes at times it is just part of life's rich pageant :)