Remember how I've said I'm forgetful and / or stupid on the antidepressants I'm taking? I'd like to blame them but I'm not sure I can.
I fell for an online fraud which may cost us money. I don't want to talk about, write about or rehash it on here so I'm not giving details or asking for advice. But I'm really embarrassed - particularly given that I work in IT - and as a result I'm a very unhappy bunny.
On the plus side I think I'm 'normal person who screwed up and now hates everything and everyone (present company excluded)' depressed not slash my wrists depressed. So I can choose between depression and competence but not both. If, that is, the drugs are responsible.
So that was yesterday. I tried to comfort myself with a packet of biscuits but just felt sicker.
This morning I woke up more or less resigned to the situation to start a horribly long working day, with my normal 7 to 4 followed by a deployment to release to the clients. It was stressful and busy till lunchtime but I was OK with that as a distraction from the other more personal stuff. It was also a horrible day in terms of the weather - much milder but decidedly wet and dreary. So no sunny walk at lunchtime. No walk at all in fact. I worked from 7 till 12:30 at a mad pace, from 1:30 till 4 at a more restrained rate, then from 4 till 8:46 pm at an 'I really wish this was over ' pace. I suppose I should be glad of the chance to bill a few more hours, all things considered... but I'm too tired right now. No binge today because I had nothing to binge on and no time to get anything - I guess that's something to be pleased about anyway.