In the meantime, completely unconnected to that issue, I have decided that I need to change my general attitude to certain things. I discovered this morning that while I've been feeling blubbery and disgusting due to a lot of poor eating (and drinking) choices over the last week and a half I've actually maintained my weight - which means that I probably actually lost a tiny bit but it's been masked by carb driven water retention. So back to clean eating to let my body flush that water away. A part of the reason I felt so huge and gross last week was that I've been living in jeans and big baggy sweatshirts or big towelling bathrobes for the majority of the time while working from home - so every time I looked in the mirror I basically saw the Ghostbusters Mr Staypuft man (or whatever his name was). So today I wore a more fitted top and a skirt to work - along with a better fitting bra - and actually felt as if I was female shaped again. So I want to resist the urge to hide myself in comfortable shapeless clothes even when home alone - it's time to stop thinking that it doesn't matter what I wear, it matters because it impacts my self image in a very negative way.
It's also time to cut the booze again. In a months time I'm going to the theatre with most of my family and I figure if I don't drink till then - combined with more walking and better eating - I can be a lot happier with the body I'm wearing by then (even though I don't now expect to reach my target weight by then as I was hoping to before I regained some weight over the holidays)
So on with the work and the plan - wish me luck!
Day 1: ate well. No booze. 3.5 miles walked and 12 flights of stairs climbed.