Friday, 11 December 2015

Then again

I wrote this yesterday (most of it anyway) but was too tired to remember to post it. 

I'm feeling a bit low again at the moment. I'm sure it's just physical - fighting a cold while continuing to not sleep very well - but it's disappointing after such a short time of feeling so much more cheerful. Or maybe, though I very much doubt it, it's cabin fever from spending so much time working from home this week.
This morning I was struggling with the desire to ring in sick and just spend the day curled up in bed but as usual my mercenary contractor genes wouldn't let me lose the money for a day's work. Even though I woke up with such a bad headache I was taking painkillers before I even went to the loo - usually nothing comes before that. The painkillers did work but I felt groggy all morning because of my bad night last night.
I forced myself out for a walk at lunchtime  in the hope that the fresh air would clear my head. Then 3 minutes out I remembered that I was supposed to be staying in to take delivery of a new Sim card for M and had to go back. Still waiting for the sim prevented me going out after work as well. Then we found the sim under the flap of the cardboard box his phone came in on Thursday - a box I had checked twice. So I stayed in all day for no reason apart from my own daftness. 
I am aware that while I've been wallowing - and not walking much, let alone anything more energetic - the inactivity has probably been feeding the depression, the tiredness and the generally run down feeling I've had for too long, so if the weather doesn't actually stop me I need to try harder to do something some of the time. I'm fed up with myself at the moment so goodness knows how annoying everyone else must be finding me. 

Of course as soon as I reached that conclusion the weather turned to total crap. It's due to rain all weekend - thanks for that, weather goblins! I have some things to do today that I plan to use to force myself out anyway but who knows if I will...

1 comment:

  1. I can relate - if I miss exercising of some type more than one day, I can mentally feel it. The depression sneaks right in. Hope you're feeling a bit better.