Tuesday, 10 November 2015


I forgot to mention yesterday that it's TTOM at the moment - and it's a doozy. Lots of stomach cramps and I'm retaining so much water the scales claim I gained 3.5 lbs overnight without eating a thing off plan. I feel like a barrage balloon and much as I hate it when sexist gits immediately go there - I'm pretty sure that some of my current emotional upheaval is hormonal. So between the antidepressants, once I get them, my hormones settling down and, if I keep it up, the antidepressant effect of the fasting I should be rainbows and sunshine by the end of the month. In which case no one, including me, will recognise me.
After I sobbed on his shoulder on Saturday night about the unending vista of a crap life not worth the effort of living through stretching endlessly ahead (I got a little redundant there as well as overly dramatic and this is why you probably shouldn't ask someone depressed why they are depressed) M decided to come up with something for me to look forward to. We aren't going on holiday at present because he likes all the (expensive) bells and whistles but we also haven't really been doing or planning anything fun to do on a smaller scale. Last night we booked tickets to go to War Horse in London in February. We'll also spend a night in London and have a nice meal to make a day of it. We saw the play and loved it in New York a few years ago and I read a review which said the British production is even better - and the run closes in March so if you like the theatre you should go quick (I can say that now we have tickets) and don't let the dreadful (I'm told) movie adaptation put you off if you accidentally saw it. I can't go as far as to say I'm excited yet, but a couple of weeks from Saturday I expect to be quite excited indeed. 
Today I was quite depressed indeed instead. The distractingness of work didn't work today and I had a few tearful moments that I hope went unnoticed. I'm not sure I will be waiting till the weekend for my appointment. Even though I know I'll still have to wait for the dose to reach therapeutic levels in my blood I feel like I need to get started on that as soon as possible.

Food today:
Brunch: steak and eggs 
Lunch: meatballs 

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