I'm trying to get my mindset to the much healthier attitude of 'that happened, now pick yourself up and get back to normal' but there's still a hefty dose of self blame at the moment - not just because I binged, but because I couldn't even keep it low carb /keto - it was crisps and chocolate time. Not that it's an excuse but I think it might be TTOM again (apparently keto can disrupt these times, making them come more (or less) often or altering intensity and /or duration until your body adjusts and I'm pretty sure I was in keto before this morning. (Really not now though. Really really not). I could be wrong but I definitely have that pms feeling) (Could I use any more brackets?)
Also I hurt my back moving stuff at the weekend (at least this time I know the cause - I felt it happen) so I'm down about that too.
And I'm sick of waking up in the dark - give back my light mornings!
Moan moan moan... Basically nothing that couldn't be fixed by spending the next week or two in bed with my jaw wired shut and an IV filled with a keto liquid food mix. In a medically induced coma. No, not in bed, tied to a treadmill (switched on obviously) and not in a coma, but everything else as above.
Actually I tracked all my excess on myfitnesspal today - usually if I binge I track the 'good stuff' and then don't add the crap as if not seeing it means it didn't happen. The interesting thing is that, because it replaced lunch (due to being bloated and stuffed) rather than being added to it, although I'm over on carbs and protein (and calories if you don't count my walking) I'm under on fat and even the carbs aren't as bad as I expected (assuming mfp has the nutritional information correct). I had 82g of carbs today and the average person in the UK/US is nowhere near that low on any standard diet. Luckily this doesn't make me feel like I can 'get away with it' but does make me feel that it's really worth getting back to the diet asap as there will be an immediate rebound in weight due to carbs and glycogen but that's truly not enough to immediately pile on the pounds again. I guess the advice to track what you eat has some value, who'd have thought...
Oh yes, and a further positive to dig out of the ashes, someone brought cakes and doughnuts in today. I was OF COURSE tempted on the grounds that I'd already kicked myself out of keto, so why not, but I resisted by reminding myself that the carbs for the day weren't yet totally ridiculous and that I'd stayed gluten free so far and didn't want to go there.... Even so, sometimes I make things so unnecessarily hard for myself...
I did walk at lunchtime and after work I took a bath to soothe my back. I then tried to book an appointment with the physiotherapist so I could ask for exercises to strengthen the hell out of my back. But when I selected a venue from the list they offered me all I got was 'no appointments currently available' and 'wait for appointment: Unknown.' Superb. Apparently they should contact me by September 1st to sort something out. The website actually said "if you haven't heard by the 1st please call us" - who else thinks I'll be ringing them on the 2nd of September - assuming that I can get through?
And then coloured a bit. I'm also reading a new book about stopping bingeing - more about that tomorrow since I've burbled on endlessly today all ready
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with mushrooms and leek
Lunch: Chocolate and crisps
Dinner: chili lime chicken (from 1001 low carb recipes by Dana Carpender)
Snacks: Sugar free jelly 'fat bombs'