Thursday, 19 February 2015

I suck. Again. Or still.

Where did the sun go and what's with the rain? It's been a lousy day today. At lunchtime it was pouring down so I didn't leave the office. I wasn't feeling brilliant before lunch with a headache plus some nausea, so fresh air might have helped but sitting still and reading a book had to do the trick.
Oh yes and eating crap. Again. If I'm going to be honest now, I've not been entirely honest about my eating this week. Don't get me wrong, I've eaten everything I've posted - but not only that. In fact I've had high carb crappy junk food every day and apart from confessing the sausage roll yesterday I've been keeping quiet about it. The main problem is I think that during the actively moving phase last week I resorted to carbs and gluten because they were easy, portable and readily available. And now I'm hooked on them again /still - even though I'm constipated, lacking energy and (as already mentioned) feeling icky. If anyone has any spare self-control lying around I would really appreciate borrowing a cup or two. Or as much as you can spare. Because I'm all out right now.
I did actually try to be good and eat home cooked this evening but M put the idea of a Chinese takeaway in my head and I was weak...  No surprise given my apparently amputated sense of restraint.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs poached on homemade gf toast
Lunch: homemade Cauliflower & broccoli soup. All gone now :-(
Dinner: salt and pepper squid (amazing) followed by disappointing kung pao prawns and steamed rice
Snacks: homemade pork rinds, yogurt and fruit, chocolate, crisps

2 comments:

  1. I think it is an addiction thing, made worse by the fact that one cannot go cold turkey on food. I have no answers for you, just sympathy and understanding. I'm fighting my own food demons at the moment and will gladly share any will power with you!
    Be kind to yourself. It helps.
    J x

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  2. I am no psychologist but having read your blog for some time I have formed some ideas. Do you have a meal plan? It is much easier to stick to if you have a plan. The other thing I have learned through bitter experience is that there is no good to be had crying over spilled milk. It makes you feel bad so you eat to comfort yourself. Personally I am trying to live like a dog - that is there is no past and there is no future only the present. Forget all the self loathing over what you have done in the past and start each day saying today is going to be a good one. Each day you have the chance to start again fresh and clear of guilt.

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