Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Bored with myself

I am so bored with telling you I'm really tired /depressed /binging,  so I can only imagine how bored you must be with reading it.  I might be tempted to write about feeling better and being happy but I don't want to lie about things here,  or there's no point posting at all.
So yesterday I wasn't depressed,  I even had the energy to walk about 3.5 miles through the day as I worked from home and had cable installed in the house during the morning. I got my antidepressants prescription renewed (can't believe it's been a month already - I'm sure I felt better by this point last time I took them) but by about 8pm when I would have been writing my post I was suddenly totally and completely wiped out - like being hit by a truck.  I turned the light out at 19:45 and didn't move again till 2:25 am. So that's why no post posted yesterday.
I overate  yesterday.  I ate gluten stuffed rubbish too.  I didn't actually sit down and binge,  which I suppose is something though not much comfort. I realised as I lay in bed at 2:30 this morning that I've been mostly  off any real healthy eating plan since my eye surgery  - a few brief attempts at getting back into the swing followed by falling off the wagon so hard I can hardly dig myself out of the mud.
No wonder I now have my second cold sore in a month and no energy.  Something has to change,  and it has to change now with a low carb reset to regain some control over myself - and hopefully reduce the current self-loathing I feel when I unavoidably have to look at myself.
Starting today.

1 comment:

  1. I don't have many words that would help and I so understand what you're saying, but wanted to let you know that I don't find you or your blog boring in the least bit. I find it honest and open and I just wish I could help.
    Much love
    J x