Monday, 30 June 2014

Ugh (warning–TMI below)

There were some good things at the weekend – we were celebrating M getting a new job, so those things were not weight loss based, but more for enjoyment. But then the weekend took a hugely unpleasant turn yesterday afternoon (that ironically was good weight-loss wise in a sick – literally – sort of way)

Yesterday for lunch we went to a new US style BBQ place that opened near us about 3 weeks ago. It was nice – good atmosphere & service, the food was good though not exceptional, the beer was very good though the choice was limited. I only had 2 small bottles of moderate-strength beer. We were home by 2pm

Around 3pm I started getting a headache. I tried to fight through it without pills – always a mistake, but somehow it seems right at the time – while watching Ender’s Game for distraction. By the end of the movie my head was splitting so I gave in on the pills. When the pills weren’t denting it after an hour I finally realised it might be a migraine (and I’d taken the wrong pills, and couldn’t take the right ones for another 3 hours). Luckily(?!) half an hour later I threw up big time. And again half an hour after that. And again… and again… marvelous. I had such a nice evening. I fell into bed around 7 and was asleep fairly quickly – boredom (no TV, Candy Crush or Kindle) combined with weakness from the loss of everything I ate all day probably.

So that was my Sunday, and don’t I wish they were all like that???

This morning I woke up with a niggly headache and strange feeling that I can only describe as feeling as though someone tied a rope around my head just tight enough to feel uncomfortable, not enough to be a form of torture, a sore throat and an aching post-op eye (at one point last night it looked about as bloodshot as it did 3 days after the operation. I was a little worried, but it looks fine today) I also still feel nauseous when I bend over, and I haven’t eaten anything since lunchtime yesterday.I decided against driving in to the office today so I’m working from home – if my headache stays under control.

OK, enough complaining from me. I need some more diet ginger beer…

Friday, 27 June 2014

Rest day

I was intending to make tomorrow my Versaclimber rest day but yesterday evening I started having some lower back pain that was still there this morning so I decided to leave it today - hoping that resting it today would be enough. Due to the weather I didn't get a proper walk this lunchtime either, so I was feeling very cooped up by the time I left work. That's not good for me... It leads to bingeing due to frustration and my all or nothing inclinations. Luckily the vending machine at work is out of order and the rain stopped my heading into town to spend all my cash on chocolate - as was definitely my wish at the time.
After work I did go for a walk, it wasn't actively raining and I was willing to accept getting home soggy and changing straight away if necessary if that changed. It was only three miles and included a bit of shopping but that was enough to take the edge off my restlessness. Thankfully.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with onion, spinach & mushroom
Lunch: raw carrot & ginger soup
Dinner: soup made by adding homemade stock and vegetables to the oxtail stew I had earlier in the week
Snacks: meatballs, mixed nuts, a little coconut kefir

Thursday, 26 June 2014

That'll teach me not to boast...

Hardly slept last night... :-( Don't know what was different. I fell asleep very quickly again (I'm not good at visualization, but as soon as I hear the waves I picture myself in an unnaturally stable hammock on a Caribbean beach), but I woke up obscenely early and was shattered by the time my alarm sounded.
Too shattered to train first thing.
However, in an uncharacteristic surge of determination I still trained, just later in the day. I managed a walk as well, and this time, being plastered, socked and walking- booted, was able to do 2.3 miles. It was hot as hell and really humid... Half an hour later it was pouring with rain. But it held off till after the walk and I spent the time strolling through a nearby copse so no complaints!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with bacon, spinach & mushroom
Lunch: not raw meatball & veg soup followed by strawberries
Dinner: spinach feta turkey burger in (portobello mushroom) bun with kale & avocado salad left from yesterday
Snacks: GF toast with butter; coconut milk kefir

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

I slept like a log last night

 Like.a.log. I was using my iPad Smart Alarm app, which plays soothing sounds for half an hour when you set it to help you fall asleep (waves against the shore in my case) and not only did I not last the 30 minutes, but I don't remember hearing anything past the point when I turned my light off! I woke up about 4:20 (the alarm's set for 4:30) and was totally comfortable & relaxed. The relaxed part didn't last long once I climbed onto the Versaclimber, but was pleasant while it did last!
At lunchtime I hoped for a 3 mile walk but cut it short at 1.3 miles because of a painful blister on the sole of my foot (right below the ball of the foot) I should have been more disappointed than I was, but there was a strong breeze with a cold edge to it so I was only enjoying the bits when the wind dropped anyway :-) I'll have to bring some different walking boots tomorrow that hopefully won't rub in the same place(s) - and add a plaster.
Of course we're due Glastonbury weather so the question may be academic by tomorrow lunchtime... But if not, need my walk!!!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with bacon, spinach & green pepper
Lunch: raw spicy bok choy soup followed by strawberries with natural live yoghurt
Dinner: salmon fish cakes drizzled with wasabi mayo, with kale & avocado salad in a mustard vinaigrette (homemade of course
, from this recipe
Snacks: mixed nuts (almonds, cashews and brazil nuts); Paleo meatballs

Tuesday, 24 June 2014


I had such a busy day at work today...
Did I train today?
Sure did
Did I walk today?
ETA: Ooh, ooh, here's another... Did I do a chin up today?
I did not
Did I do 5 (and a half) chin ups today?
Oh yeah!!!! I sure did! First time since my op...!!!
Am I knackered?

I'll try to be slightly more alive tomorrow...

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leftover garlic fried pork mince, spinach & green pepper
Lunch: raw spicy bok choy soup
Dinner: oxtail stew with broccoli and cauliflower
Snacks: mixed nuts (almonds, cashews and brazil nuts); Paleo mini frittatas

Monday, 23 June 2014

Happy Monday!!!


Friday, on my training course,I spent the whole day on my bum, in the car or training room. I did however train before I left and walk a couple of miles after I got home, and although I wasn't able to be gluten free I didn't eat appallingly.
I didn't train over the weekend due to some shoulder / neck pain. I also didn't walk much, maybe a couple of miles each day, and I fell back into the eating too much weekend trap. If I can train more consistently that should improve - or failing that spending long periods walking so I don't have time to eat...
If I can't I'm never going to make any progress for my holiday in 8 weeks time.

This morning when my alarm went off at 4:30 I swore vigorously and considered throwing my mobile through the nearest window. Then got up and trained instead. But it was a close thing. At lunchtime I walked just under 3 miles - along the canal tow path. It was lovely (although something bit me) 

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with bacon, tomatoes, spinach & red onion
Lunch: raw carrot-ginger soup
Dinner: big salad with tuna mayo & hard boiled egg for protein
Snacks: mixed nuts (almonds, cashews and brazil nuts); Paleo meatballs

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Back on track...

This morning I got back on track with a workout started minutes before I was awake enough to change my mind. I can tell I don't train as hard first thing as I would later but I'm hoping that 1) I'll be more consistent and therefore build my fitness faster anyway and 2) I'll improve my fasted training as I get stronger and hopefully lighter. If not I'll have to find a way to motivate myself for after work, but I'll give it some time first.
The real question is probably did it improve my mood the way yesterday's post speculated it would? Well, yes... And no.
I'm not as bad tempered today as yesterday but I have been pretty depressed even so. I don't know what's wrong with me just now but I'm definitely lacking in the joys of spring summer time...
I'll be spending tomorrow in a training course so may not have time to post btw

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with bacon, mushrooms & a tiny bit of sweet potato
Lunch: leftover slow cooker hot & sour soup
Dinner: Paleo oven fried salmon cakes (recipe in Well Fed 2 cookbook) with salad and homemade dressing
Snacks: cashews, Paleo meatballs dipped in Paleo homemade barbecue sauce

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

What a difference a work out makes

Yesterday I felt wide awake, energetic, virtuous and happy most of the day because I trained first thing. I heard uncouth sounds from the desk across from me and only wanted to strangle the guy about 10 times all day; I was bored / frustrated but accepted that as just the way it goes; and even the (unrealized) possibility of having to work late didn't really faze me. OK, I still complained about the heat all afternoon due to the lack of air conditioning, but that's exceptionally unbearable working conditions that NO ONE could be expected to accept.
Today? M slept in so I didn't feel I could train on the noisy machine in the next room and wake him up. So I put off the session till after work.
What difference did that make to my mood? I felt sluggish and depressed first thing. I wanted to kill the guy across from me 10 times in the first 10 MINUTES after he got to work (and my fantasy murder method was way more violent than mere strangulation.) And by 8 am (I walked into the office at 6:40) I was so bored, frustrated & generally fed up that I wanted to tell them to stuff their job and stomp out. It was miserably grey and dreary, which probably didn't help, but even so... talk about your Jekyll & Hyde!!!
At lunchtime I didn't really feel like going for a walk but there were glimpses of sunshine that I hoped would cheer me up, plus I wanted to get some change for a £10 note so I went into town. If I'm honest I was really really really tempted to buy a ton of absolute crap and find somewhere to hide and binge out. The first shop I entered had a queue stretching half way to the back of the shop, and I wasn't willing to wait in line for that long, so I went on to a convenience store further down the street, and by the time I got there I'd decided just to buy some bottled water. I then walked on a bit, in total almost the regulation 2 miles, which wasn't that impressive in terms of exercising but I suppose better than nothing. I did go into the canteen of a local office building and buy a satsuma, but that was all. The walk didn't do a lot to cheer my up (it was nice when the wind dropped but sadly there was a nasty cold edge to the wind and it blew most of the time. On the other hand I finished up feeling no less, but also no more, grouchy than I started out - if I had pigged out I'm pretty sure I'd be feeling worse right now.

However. I did not train after work. I was starving when I walked into the house, and I instantly ate dinner then got bogged down with chores. See what I mean about training first thing being best?

Possibly as a punishment for my grouchiness today I've had a little discomfort in my eye. It's so little it's hardly worth mentioning except as a marker for how much better it has been lately. I've had prolonged periods of being unaware of my eye unless messing about with it - rubbing it for instance - but today I've been aware of it again with a very slight ache easily treated with paracetamol.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leek & tomatoes
Lunch: salad with roasted gammon and homemade wasabi mayonnaise
Dinner: slow cooker hot & sour soup based on this recipe but I don't eat soy anymore so I replaced tofu with chicken breast, and I didn't have water chestnuts but did add carrot & celery, and used pork bone broth instead of chicken stock. But it's basically that recipe. It had mushrooms in it. So it's that recipe.
Snacks: cashews, Paleo meatballs.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Monday AGAIN...???

The weekend wasn't great, I seem to have got into the habit of doing well most of the week then doing so badly at the weekend I negate all the good I had been doing. Actually Friday was bad and so was Saturday (full on binge) but Sunday I trained then walked - and with an extremely heavy, back breaking rucksack as well - so I was more active than any weekend within recent memory.
I was much more motivated today I'm glad to say, and once again went for the double whammy of walking at lunchtime and training after work. (it was actually a chilly walk due to lots of cloud & a cold wind - but the heat is due back tomorrow. And we still have no air conditioning in the office...) I also selected a program in the climber in the hope it would push me harder than I'd push myself (but selected a fairly wussy program to reduce the benefit). I'm boosting the protein back up somewhat now that I'm training more - I was starving all last week and definitely ate more than my training effort warranted as a result. Hopefully the much hyped satiating quality of protein will stop me doing that this week. I've got 2 months before we go on holiday and I want to lose weight by then (my Plan B is to buy Spanx but that is basically an acceptance that I've lost my weightloss mojo and I'm not yet ready for that)
Food Friday:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leek, yellow pepper & mushrooms
Lunch: salad with Paleo salad dressing & grilled skinless chicken thighs
Dinner: salad with a million veggies, Paleo dressing, and poached chicken breast
Snacks: cashews, cold meat

ETA: I wrote this yesterday and thought it posted then until I arrived on blogger to post today and found it was still only a draft...

I feel good...

Today I got up at 4:30 (20 minutes earlier than usual) and trained before work. (I prefer to do that but for noise reasons rarely can during the week). Training is much better for waking up and feeling energised than any amount of coffee!!! (though I did pretty much yawn my way through the first 30 minutes)
It was good knowing it was done and nothing later could get in the way - especially as there was a chance that I might have been working late tonight. As I didn't end up working late in the end it also gave me time for some housework. I've been neglecting it more than usual lately as I've been adding the training into my routine - and prioritizing it heavily in an attempt to get back into the habit.
I walked 3 miles at lunchtime along the Kennet & Avon canal. It was perfect walking weather - pleasant breeze to cool things down, sunshine and shade, blue sky & fluffy clouds - lovely!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leek, red pepper & mushrooms
Lunch: raw carrot ginger soup
Dinner: Bolognese with sweet potato noodles
Snacks: cashews

Saturday, 14 June 2014


I managed to get some sleep Thursday night, possibly as much to do with all the fresh air as the nytol + beer. I didn't - still don't - feel caught up, but I did feel human enough to go in to the office. I did not, however, go for a long walk at lunchtime. The heat in the office has been getting increasingly enervating and it killed my motivation stone dead. I managed to walk as far as a convenience store with a freezer full of ice-cream and I did purchase a Solero, but in my defense it was medicinal to lower my core body temp from a fast boil to a slow simmer.... I also didn't have the energy to train after work, so I declared yesterday a rest day. Then it turned into a pig out day as well... I had 2 beers (only 2 - and I felt slightly too drunk to post!) and ate junk and fell into bed fairly early. Then woke up very early in the morning due to thunder in the distance, torrential rain and even some lightning. I managed to doze off again with help from ear plugs and an eye mask but was restless till it was properly morning, and got up early.

Food Friday:
Breakfast: raw tomato bisque
Lunch: pork scratchings and a Solero
Dinner: grilled chicken thighs, protein cookie, non gf toast...
Snacks: cashews, eat natural bar

Thursday, 12 June 2014


So, less than no sleep last night had me shambling around like an extra from The Walking Dead this morning. As a result I elected to work from home rather than risk causing mayhem on the roads. Of course that wasn't a hardship compared to working in a sauna all day. We don't have air conditioning at home either but at least I have a fan.
At lunchtime I walked just over 2 miles - I'd intended to bring forward my climber workout but didn't have the energy. A nap might have been an even better idea - except I'm not good at napping.
After I finished work, I went for more of the same - keeping active even though I had no energy or interest. Total mileage today about 5. Total Vitamin D ~ 1700% of RDA. Yay!!! No need to supplement right now...
In an attempt to avoid insomnia tonight I've had exactly one beer .. and a nytol. Wish me luck!!!

Food today:
Breakfast: breakfast smoothie of homemade coconut milk kefir that had been flavoured with pureed banana & homemade vanilla extract, blended with spinach, avocado, strawberries & raw cocoa powder
Lunch: leftover kale avocado salad with tinned salmon in homemade mayo
Dinner: chicken vegetable stirfry with Paleo 'hoisin' sauce
Snacks: dried mango and a very small amount of homemade pork scratchings

Wednesday, 11 June 2014


No, I have not been having fun in the kitchen...
Today was the 3rd day this week with no air con at work and we've been told it won't be fixed till Monday. It's really unpleasant in the office at the moment. Reaaaally unpleasant...
At lunchtime I cooled down by walking 2 miles in the sun - and believe me, it was cooler!
And I trained again after work. Is that what you call being on a roll? Maybe it's too soon to say that - but you can't get a roll without first training 3 times - or 4, or 5... Right?

Food today:
Breakfast: raw tomato coconut soup
Lunch: raw spicy bok choy soup & a snack pack of apricots
Dinner: Paleo bbq ribs with kale & avocado salad
Snacks: cashews and Greek yoghurt

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Doing well

Trained again today. Nothing like feeling you can't train for a few weeks to make you want to even though previously you didn't bother...
And funny how training makes you less inclined to eat muffins and doughnuts... A good day today!
Lunchtime I walked 2 miles as well. It was really warm again and I went to the towpath and walked along the Kennet & Avon canal to stay away from shops in case the carbs came back for another attempt on my resolve. Luckily the towpath is quite shady as it didn't occur to me to wear or bring sunscreen when I left home
Food today:
Breakfast: raw tomato bisque soup
Lunch: raw carrot ginger soup
Dinner: offal stew with parsnip mash & leeks
Snacks: cashews and Greek yoghurt

Monday, 9 June 2014

Moving onwards

First up I'll admit I lied about being over the bingeing - or overeating anyway - that lasted all weekend and I drank beer too.
Yesterday I had my eyes tested for new glasses. Unbelievably the optician said my prescription hadn't changed at all since the last eye test - so now I'm kind of newly all impressed with my surgeon. My eyes are generally healthy, she confirmed that my vision with my current glasses is good enough for driving, and there was no last minute panicky 'wtf is that' with regard to holes, detachments, tears or cataracts - all of which was massively reassuring. OK, I've spent a fortune on new glasses that I will get in a couple of weeks, but for now I've got no more milestones in the near future - so no excuses for more overeating!
I drove to work today - and home obviously - and omg the difference it makes getting home at 4:30 instead of 5:30!!! I hopped on the climber virtually the minute I walked through the door and had finished my workout & shower before I would have unlocked the front door travelling by train! I had already been for a 2 mile walk at lunchtime as well - rather a hot & sweaty one sadly. Also I made the mistake of not eating my healthy raw green soup for lunch before I went to the farm shop... Which completely changed the whole face of my lunch (see below...) and forced me to tweak my dinner to come in within calories....
Food today:
Breakfast: raw spicy bok choy soup (made with baby spinach instead of bok choy)
Lunch: toffee pecan muffin, dried apple crisps, and 3 medjool dates.... The carbs got me!!!!
Dinner: tinned salmon & salad
Snacks: cashews and homemade banana-coconut milk kefir

Friday, 6 June 2014

Friday at last

I forgot to mention yesterday that I walked 5 miles to (not even a little bit) work off the calories of my binge - 4 miles getting to and from the hospital plus another mile going to Wetherspoons for dinner as I couldn't face cooking when I finally got home. So I was nicely active anyway!
Today was not as active. 2 miles walking to the train station and back - check. Walking at lunchtime? Nope - it was baking hot and the air-con at work is broken so being vigorous, coming back sweaty, and then sitting stewing all afternoon just wasn't going to happen. And after work there wasn't time for anything more before the taxi came to take us out for dinner.... We went out for dinner in celebration of the milestone yesterday with my eye. We went to one of our favourite local treat restaurants - the wonderful Michelin starred Royal Oak in Paley Street Berkshire. The restaurant is particularly well known for it's game and fish, and deservedly so.
Because I knew I'd be eating out anyway I also binged again - but now I'm done with that I think. But that's why there's no food for the main part of the day... Eating x cookies & peanut m&m's is too embarrassing to type. My eye - especially the muscles in the outside corner - has been really quite sore today after all yesterdays 'look right', 'look up and right', 'look down and right'... Can you get DOMS in the eye? If you can, that's what I've got.

Here’s my dinner:

Starter: Heritage tomato salad with Rosary goat’s cheese and black olive tapenade – to die for…

IMAG0235 (1)

Hake with samphire, cockles & mussel sauce


Mango mousse with passion fruit jelly and Calamansi Sorbet


Sheer heaven!!! And since I do drink when I eat out, a wonderful Californian White Wine – Le Cigare Blanc Grenache-Rousseau – and an even more wonderful Japanese whisky as a digestif - Nikka Miyagikyo 15 yr old single malt. And a mandarin champagne cocktail.

I am feeling merry!!!

Thursday, 5 June 2014


Had my appointment. I was there early, and in total spent about 2 HOURS at the hospital because they were running so late.
Still, he's still happy. I am free to get my eyes tested, spend a fortune on new glasses, and thereafter to drive. I am assured that my eye socket won't ache for ever.
He still wants to keep an eye on me... I have to go back in 3 or 4 months. But for  ow,all looks good.

PS I  winged a bit today due to all the stess. While I'd be happier if I could handle stress like a grown up I'm not too upset with myself under the circumstances.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Apologies for the language yesterday everybody....

Honestly Joy I don't hate the NHS either really, but I really needed to vent a bit! I'm glad we have them but they are broken and I can't think of many other organizations that are better designed to reduce their victims customers to a state of impotent rage!
After relieving some of my feelings in yesterday's post it seems anticlimactic to report that this morning I finally spoke directly to the surgeon's secretary and she was able to squeeze me in... Tomorrow!!! I really don't know why I bother trying to go through the 'proper channels' as any time I've managed to get anything done it's been by circumventing them completely.
Anyway. Fingers crossed he finds everything is ok in there tomorrow and tells me to just see an optician regularly from now on.

Horrible horrible horrible weather this morning. It was raining when I got up, when I started work, at lunchtime... But it was only cold yet sunny after work and I got 2 miles in and then made it onto the climber for 30 minutes. Once I can drive again that will go up... And the walking will go down :-( but that's just the way it needs to be if I want to lose weight, I can walk in my sleep and that's exactly what my body does now... So I need to up the intensity, and I need to be careful how I do it, at least for a while...

Food today:
Breakfast: pork & apple sausage with vegetable mini frittatas
Lunch: raw ginger soup with 2 slices gf bread (I couldn't help it, it was that or the real thing)
Dinner: rib steak, baked sweet potato & broccoli
Snacks: cashew nut butter; pickled cockles

Tuesday, 3 June 2014


I am so frustrated... I still don't have an appointment for my post op check. I finally got through to the eye clinic today and was ever so helpfully redirected to the Royal Berkshire's general Booking Department where initially I was offered an appointment on the 8th of AUGUST!!! So should I have any asymptomatic bad side effects of the operation I can just wait 2 months to find out!!! After I explained why that wasn't good enough I was offered July 24th instead, and told if I couldn't wait that long I needed to call the surgeon's secretary to ask for help... Unlike the eye clinic, the secretary does have voicemail - I know because it seems to be permanently switched on while she doesn't return the calls.
It's funny (not) that both the eye clinic and the day ward I went to after I woke up gave me a comment form along the lines of 'if your friends or family members developed the same condition as you, how likely would you be to recommend us to them?'
NOT VERY!!! I realize the operation itself is the most important part of the process and I've been told that went well, but everything else has been complete shit. I'm not supposed to drive until he gives me the all clear, and I can't even get to see him! Fucking Royal Berkshire Hospital Eye Clinic (London Rd Reading - stay away if you have the choice) - absolute crap. I've been messed around and forgotten once already and now it's happening again. I hate the NHS and I hate the Royal Berkshire even more.

Food today:
Breakfast: pork & apple sausage with cucumber & tomatoes
Lunch: raw ginger soup and a bag of ready salted crisps
Dinner: tuna mayo zucchini pasta with salad
Snacks: cashews, Nak'd gingerbread bar

Monday, 2 June 2014

I hate Mondays (no one ever said THAT before...)

Why does Sunday always have to be followed by Monday?
I'm still lacking energy & enthusiasm. (and an appointment at the hospital) Yesterday I had planned a fairly active day with lots of walking, incorporating a visit to Ham House, but instead managed to barely walk 2 miles before going home to spend most of the day in front of the tv. Then this morning I woke up around 3:20 and stayed awake - losing an hour and a half of my already short nights sleep. Ah well, at least today I know why I'm knackered.
After work I did a very short session on the climber in addition to the obligatory 2 miles walked. I only fitted in 20 minutes but it was 20 minutes more than usual and more than I felt like doing so I'm reasonably pleased I did even that. In fact, no, I'm really pleased I did, given that train travel leaves me so little spare time. So go me!

Food today:
Breakfast: pork & apple sausage with cucumber & tomatoes
Lunch: salad of homemade mayo dressing on roast chicken breast, avocado, cucumber, tomatoes & lettuce
Dinner: pork ribs in Paleo bbq sauce w/ salad
Snacks: cashews