Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Home safe & mostly sound

Hi, just a quick post today to say my op went off as planned yesterday - I felt like crap afterwards from the general anaesthetic but they let me come home and I was glad to be out of there! Not feeling spectacular today and my vision is very poor - not just the bad eye, which appears to be swimming in blood, but the other one is struggling to compensate so if this appears to be incomprehensible drivel that's my excuse...
Anyway, normal service will be restored asap

Monday, 28 April 2014

Is it Monday already?

I'm not sure where the weekend went,apart from spending hours in the kitchen both days. I made a new batch of Paleo mayonnaise from which I made 3 different salad dressings; I baked a loaf of grain-free bread, made an oxtail stew, cooked a pork tenderloin and some chicken & froze them, made homemade pork scratchings, roasted a little gammon joint... I didn't actually eat much home cooked food though as celebrating M's birthday carried over into Saturday with a kebab for dinner.
I wanted a couple of long walks but unsettled and very windy weather led to me taking multiple short walks instead - less interesting and overall lower mileage but it helped me avoid showers & cold blustery winds. We also watched the second Hunger Games movie and season 4 of The Big C on DVD, so my weekend must have been split between short, fast walks, hours on my feet in the kitchen, and hours flat on my back on the sofa. I actually stayed in bed till 6 am yesterday - very rare for me! But possibly needed as I had way more energy than usual yesterday morning.
This morning was a very different story - I woke up about 3am and never got back to sleep. Once I got up all I could do was stumble around the house mumbling 'I don't want to go to work...' and then go to work...
At lunchtime I fitted in an extra walk - about 2.5 miles - for some shopping. It started off freezing cold & blustery but then the sun came out and it became quite mild and pleasant, so I enjoyed it in the end.
M was given an Easter egg at work today and brought it home for me as a comforting treat before my operation <3 p="">Deniz, thanks for stopping by to wish me luck for tomorrow. I know you've got a lot going on in your life right now but I always love hearing from you and appreciate your support.

Food today:
Breakfast: raw ginger soup
Lunch: raw Kreamy dill soup
Dinner: pork with cheese sauce (a recipe from Barry Grove's book Natural Health & Weight Loss), broccoli & leek
Snacks: cashews, homemade pork scratchings, chocolate!!!

Friday, 25 April 2014


What a horrible day (weatherwise)... Rain, rain, cold, rain, rain.... Cold, rain.. I took an hour longer than usual to get to work due to travel issues and frankly was really tempted to turn around and head for home to work there instead. I was really grumpy by the time I got there. On the plus side I stopped for a consolatory latte on the way and wasn't even interested in any of the high carb junk food I saw - not interested, not tempted in the slightest.
I figured that the day was only going to get better after that start but was proved wrong when my pc crashed and died mid-morning for no apparent reason. So more frustration.
It's M's birthday today so there was no dieting this evening. We're trying to cut back on our spending so we just got an Indian takeaway and some booze at home.
Food today:
Breakfast: raw carrot ginger soup
Lunch: raw Kreamy cucumber soup & flapjack
Dinner: Haryali tikka / pork sekuwa starter followed by lamb haryali & plain rice
Snacks: cheddar cheese and a little cashew butter

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Planning and preparing

Diane, that was either the best or the worst idea of all time... I had a quick look at an ice cream maker on Amazon and now I want one desperately... Which means I'm scared to actually get one in case I end up gaining 11 stone in a month... :-)

I spent some time today editing my account so I can start recording my food again. I'm not very happy with my weight - and the total lack of progress I'm making unless on a whole30 - so I need to up my efforts, and since it is looking increasingly like I might actually be operated on next Tuesday I have to focus on my intake rather than making vague promises to myself about increasing my exercise (I somehow doubt if even walking will appeal immediately following the op and anything strenuous would risk hampering the healing - even if there was a chance in hell that I'd be up for it) My first focus has to be on remaining fully gf, as I don't want to feel like crap while healing, and ideally grain-free, with the possible exception of white rice, as I've been eating it about once a week lately and having no problems with it. I'm upping my carbs to fuel the process - my current plan is 20-30% of calories, coming from potatoes, sweet potatoes and vegetables primarily. I'd like to try for 20% protein and the rest fat. I will be open to changing any and all of it except the gluten based on how I feel though - even if my body is demanding chocolate & crisps! So I expect to gain more before I hopefully start losing :-(
Food today:
Breakfast: raw coconut tomato soup
Lunch: raw curried cilantro cucumber soup (except I replaced cilantro/coriander with parsley because I already had some) and an apple
Dinner: baked salmon fillet with stirfried vegetables
Snacks: satsuma, mini homemade sausages (made from yesterday's lamb cumin burger mix)

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Dull day

There was some sunshine today, early on anyway, which was a nice start to the day. I forgot to take an antihistamine before leaving home this morning, so I was a bit snuffly though not as bad as I was before I started taking them. Maybe the pollen levels are finally tailing off a bit.
Nothing interesting happened today.
You might notice if you stayed awake through yesterday'spost and look below that I'm eating more raw soups at the moment (from Ani's 15 day fat blast). If you've been around a while you might remember I tried to follow her full plan once but failed (even though I liked the savoury recipes) after about 3 days. I'm obviously not attempting the plan again, but I'm sick of salads and feel I've been eating too much protein, not enough carbs (though I'm not going high carb) and not enough fat. This is my way to address that - soups heavy on avocado, coconut oil, or nuts, for healthy fats, and plenty of leafy green & salad vegetables. It actually meets a lot of the nutritional guidelines apart from the fact that most of them contain miso paste - but I'm ok with that as it's fermented and mostly in relatively small quantities.

Food today:
Breakfast: raw 'minestrone' soup
Lunch: raw Kreamy tomato gazpacho soup
Dinner: lamb & cumin burgers (homemade, recipe in Paleo Primer) with salad
Snacks: cashews, mini homemade sausages (made using the same recipe I told you about before, except that I replaced the pear with an apple and cut down on the black pepper a bit)
Supper: M is the spawn of the devil... Ben & Jerry are his accomplices. I had ice cream

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Where did the bank holiday go?

I lost Friday to a hangover. I can't say how embarrassing it is to be that hung-over on 3 beers (stronger than my usual choices, but still only 3). I got up quite early to take alka seltzer for my upset stomach & the ice pick in my skull, threw up twice within an hour, and generally suffered my way through the morning. (I'm not asking for sympathy btw, I know I brought it on myself). For lunch I had a Krispy Kreme and felt much better.
Saturday I went into Reading for a little shopping & walked maybe 3 miles total then watched the movie Safe with Jason Statham (The Transporter by another name).
Sunday I got quite a good morning walk before the rain arrived. We had quite a bit of thunder overhead and some torrential rain later on so I didn't go back out, just vegetated indoors and cooked some stuffed lambs hearts in the slow cooker for dinner.
Yesterday was more of the same - a couple of shorter walks rather than 1 long one to get around 4 miles in total (carrying an extremely heavy rucksack for a  couple of them) and I ate a couple of hot cross buns (not gf - but it's only Easter once a year...)
The rain was back today but very light and drizzly a lot of the time. I walked 2 miles and left it at that.

Food today:
Breakfast: raw curried zucchini cucumber soup
Lunch: garlic bell pepper raw soup
Dinner: meatza with beef crust, topped with mushrooms, broccoli, red onion & cheese served with sweet potato oven chips and broccoli slaw                                         Snacks: cashews, Greek yogurt

Thursday, 17 April 2014

I'm a bit... hic...pi**ed

After what could only be described as a slow motion binge yesterday (crap at lunchtime then more on the way home) I woke up this morning feeling like I never wanted to eat again (my body saying 'don't do this to me any more - if you can't eat real food don't bother at all' perhaps? So I skipped breakfast and had just a plum & some cashews for my morning snack. I'm not boasting here - I was quite literally completely uninterested in chocolate, or any of the other things I've been overdoing lately, so no willpower was required.
The hayfever has almost completely subsided - my nose still felt a bit stuffed but not runny and I wasn't sneezing any more either. Hurray for antihistamines!
But today wasn't all good - I got a phone call from the hospital this morning, apparently the surgeon who will be operating on my eye is not going to be there on the 22nd so my operation has been put back to the 29th. Just marvelous. I can't believe they booked me in for a surgery on a day that the guy wasn't actually physically in the hospital... Oh who am I kidding, I do believe it, and I also believe it's perfectly possible he decided to take a holiday after they booked it, and just told them to reschedule everybody. Soooo frustrating. I'm now equally scared of the op and desperate for it to be over so it's not hanging over me any more. I hate the f***ing NHS....

Food today:
Breakfast: none
Lunch: gammon salad
Dinner: sirloin steak with chips, mushroom, a few (very few) peas and half a tomato... Plus 3 beers!!!
Snacks: cashews & plum

Wednesday, 16 April 2014


Still being hammered by the pollen - not as sneezy but my nose has been flowing freely! As a result I stayed indoors at lunchtime to avoid re-exposing myself to any more pollen. By early afternoon I was feeling better, so I think the antihistamines are building up to useful levels and I hope they'll get things under control soon.
As I wasn't going out at lunch I entertained myself reading more eye surgery forums and had to stop because I was feeling rather unwell... I have decided not to watch the video of the surgery by the way - I think I'll be happier letting the whole thing just happen around my unconscious and unknowing head. Of course today I was reading a story about someone who woke up just as her surgery was supposed to start due to inadequate supplies of gas in the equipment... Also last night I had an anxiety dream (at least I got to sleep for long enough to dream) - it took a consistent format for me that recurs whenever I'm worried and makes no effort to reflect real life in terms of the situation worrying me. Basically it's always a dream about arriving at the airport to go on a fantastically expensive holiday only to realize I left my passport & tickets at home.... Then I spend the rest of the dream racing around madly trying to get the paperwork and return to the airport before the flight takes off. Yes, my brain focuses on incredibly trivial stuff when I sleep...

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with gammon, red onion & mushrooms
Lunch: soup
Dinner: Mexican pork chops with roasted Brussels sprouts
Snacks: cashew nuts and toasted coconut, and a truly enormous quantity of crap....

Tuesday, 15 April 2014


Beautiful day today, with blue skies, sunshine... And high pollen count!!! I never had hayfever until I was 16, and 3 or 4 years later it stopped again - but now it's back. I don't know if it's a side effect of all the pollution that blew over this way the other week, but I can't say I'm particularly happy to be sniffling & sneezing my way through the day. Because it's been clear for so long it never occurred to me to take an antihistamine before work - or bring them to work - even though M has hayfever for the first time in 3 or 4 years as well. So irritating! 
At lunchtime I popped to the nearest pharmacy to buy some antihistamines and then fled back indoors as quickly as possible to give them a chance to work. So no walk at lunch today (mind you I had time to make up from yesterday so needed to cut my lunchbreak short anyway). Annoyingly the antihistamines stopped me sneezing but did very little for my runny nose, leaving me with an antisocial sniffle for the afternoon.
I still walked 2 miles today, but couldn't force myself to do more given the high pollen count. 

Confession time:
I'm eating lots of crap just now. I wouldn't call it comfort eating so much as distraction eating... I'm really worried about my op and the healing process, I've never been operated on before or under general anaesthetic and since birth have only spent one night in hospital - observation when I had a kidney infection years ago - so I'm pretty scared to be honest. I'm cutting myself some slack right now because I don't have the energy to worry about diet as well. So no food diary today...

Monday, 14 April 2014

I have a date....

I had my pre op assessment this morning. I basically worked from home for about an hour and a half, then headed for the train station to get into Reading for 9. The appointment was dead on time amazingly - possibly because it was so early - and the staff nurse was very nice even if she did have to ask me my age and weigh me - two of my not favourite things these days.
The op is booked for the afternoon of April 22nd - a week away in other words. I can have breakfast so long as I eat before 7:30, then nothing but water, black tea, or black coffee as it will be done under general anaesthetic. So long as there are no complications I should be allowed home the same day, around 7pm.
Due to my appointment I walked about 4 miles, and came home to finish the day working from home. If you glance at the food diary below you will see that I comforted myself after my appointment with a very indulgent treat from one of Reading's independent coffee shops. I did stay gf and don't feel any guilt / regret about it.
The weekend was pretty uneventful btw. I wanted to take it easy and just chill out, so I didn't do much - fairly short walks, a bit of grocery shopping,some time out in the garden in the sun yesterday (barbecuing dinner). It was nice, and I did feel relaxed most of the time anyway.

Food today:
Breakfast: Barbecued pork chop and large slice of gf chocolate cake
Lunch: soup
Dinner: chicken & veg topped with homemade pesto
Snacks: some roast gammon

Friday, 11 April 2014

Back again

Well, on Wednesday night I was felled by a migraine, so no post. Thursday morning I was still suffering from the headache along with nausea & dizziness, so no work or post. I did work from home in the afternoon when the drugs finally took effect (or maybe the sugar... I always crave sugary foods before & during migraines and yesterday I wallowed in them)
I slept quite well last night - over 8 hrs for a change! - and feel much better today, so I did make it in to the office and managed to walk 2 miles as usual (yesterday I still walked almost that as I had to go into town for more drugs - a painful experience with a migraine since it was a beautiful sunny day that would normally have made me very happy)

You'll notice below that I'm not cutting out nuts any more. This is because after several days of replacing healthy (in moderation) delicious raw cashews with less healthy snacks... (even on one occasion a Mars bar!!!! And several spoonfuls of peanut butter) I decided to stick with the lesser evil. So small snackpacks of cashews are back on the menu.

In other news, the eye hospital called me at lunchtime. I have my pre op appointment on Monday at 9am. So now that they have been reminded of my existence it looks like they're trying to squeeze in under the 2 months estimate he gave me.

Food today:
Breakfast: Pear, fennel & sage breakfast sausage with cherry tomatoes, hard boiled egg & sauerkraut
Lunch: gammon & salad
Dinner: turkey stirfry
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, cashews

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Not the best day. Not the worst either

Walked 2 miles
Ate peanut butter & chocolate & almonds (ground, in a raw soup)
Was not low carb or grain free (but was gluten free)
I was hungry most of the day, and grazed all day (TTOM) but despite the evidence below didn't go into binge mode (desperately cramming as much food as possible down in the shortest possible time)- my overeating took all day

Food today:
Breakfast: Pear, fennel & sage breakfast sausage with cherry tomatoes
Lunch: raw soup - Ani's 15 day fat blast Kreamy dill delight. My first raw soup containing broccoli. (the recipe also contains cashews, I subbed in ground almonds as I have a large bag in the freezer.) followed by natural yoghurt & blueberries
Dinner: fried rice with chicken & ham
Supper: peanut butter straight from the jar
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, small bag of minstrels, pork scratchings

Monday, 7 April 2014

No nuts today

It is hard for me... Not eating nuts. They tend to be my go to snack, but also of course a bit of a binge trigger when I'm that way inclined, and so energy dense...
But they taste good and are crunchy and there aren't enough crunchy foods in the lower carb world. Still, today is day one of trying to break my cashew nut addiction. I left them off my weekend big shop shopping list, and now I'm a cold turkey.
Today was a lousy day (in terms of weather, not nut withdrawal). Rain. Rain. And more rain. I managed 2 damp miles, but couldn't force myself to add another 2 at lunchtime :-( It was disappointing but at the weekend I did approx 5 miles a day despite yesterday also being rubbish so I don't mind too much - I'm still building my distances back up.  The weekend was quite good for food (including nuts) and walking, but did involve a few beers, so not perfect. Also I watched Thor - The Dark World. They smashed up Greenwich, where I spent part of my last day in London, and I always enjoy movies that come with built in 'I've been there'. The less good part of that was that the movie was in 3D - and after watching it I developed a bad headache. The same thing happened the weekend before, when we watched 2 3D movies - after both movies. Apparently it's quite common for 3D movies to cause headaches in people with a range of conditions affecting their eyes, including retinal detachment. So much so that a few sites on the web suggest headaches after 3D movies are actually a warning sign that you should get your eyes tested in case of problems. Annoyingly I've been prioritizing 3D movies on my Lovefilm list to watch them before my surgery as afterwards I simply won't be able to see the 3D for a short time while healing. Ah well. In the grand scheme of possible undesired consequences of this problem of mine, having to watch movies & TV in 2D isn't going to make the top 1000.

Food today:
Breakfast: Eggs scrambled with gammon & tomato
Lunch: raw soup - Ani's 15 day fat blast tomato bisque - with some cold meat
Dinner: lambs liver & onions with cheesy cauliflower mash
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, homemade meatballs

Friday, 4 April 2014

Some progress...

I worked from home today so I could let in a man to check the central heating. The day didn't get off to the best start with a few environmental issues needing fixing and a problem with my pc, buy after that it was a lot more productive. The man came round quite early in the two hour slot he'd given me and by lunchtime he'd gone so I was free to take my first walk of the day - ok it was to shop (as was the follow up walk after work) but still I managed approximately 4.5 miles and was carrying extra weight (im my rucksack, not just on my hips) for almost all of it.
I got a letter from the hospital today, pretty much just going through the motions as it was the letter he dictated while I was there A MONTH AGO!!! It was dated in Feb, said he'd seen me 'today' and even said something about being sent 'without signature for speed'. Bloody ridiculous given that I still wouldn't have received it if not for my phonecall earlier in the week. But one thing it did do was give me the full name of the procedure he's planning to do - cryotherapy with scleral buckle under general anaesthetic. None of the literature I read mentioned the cryotherapy bit, so I have something else to read up on now...

Food today:
Breakfast: Ani's fat blaster Kreamy Tomato Gazpacho
Lunch: chicken, egg & avocado mayo salad
Dinner: turkey curry with roasted cauliflower rice
Snacks: nut (butter), strawberries, a  couple of homemade Italian sausage 'meat balls'

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Ramping up the walking

Less crazy day today, so I actually had the time (and energy!) to walk to the big supermarket at lunchtime, which doubled my daily walk - 2 miles outside of work and 2 at lunch.
It wasn't a very nice day today with a smoggy start and a muggy middle (but none of the forecast rain) but I enjoyed the lunchtime walk more than I have been doing lately, which is nice. As a slight downside of the focus on walking lately I'm finding it harder to fit in my usual pottering around the kitchen at the moment, but I guess it's not a bad trade as I still have zero interest in more vigorous exercise and I need to move around a bit at least.
No news as yet about my eye, but the consultant holds his clinic today so I'm hoping it won't be long before I do. I'm definitely not waiting so long before chasing this time as they clearly can't be trusted on their own...

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with cauliflower & leek
Lunch: leftover Caribbean beef casserole
Dinner: stirfry of chinese roast pork, veg & sunshine sauce
Snacks: nuts, Greek yoghurt

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Busy busy rush rush

I had NO time to write a post at work today - or to read any blogs, or pretty much anything except... Work!!! The horror!

So a quick summary of my day: approx 2.5 miles walked. No chocolate. One failed attempt to buy pork mince for future snackage. Some TV watched, a little cooking, and where the hell did the day go???

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with mushrooms and yellow & red bell peppers
Lunch: roast chicken leg & salad with zingy ginger dressing, followed by natural yoghurt
Dinner: chicken stir fry with paleo hoisin sauce
Snacks: nuts, kale chips

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Help needed

Joy, the recipe for the sausages in full is in Paleo lunches & breakfasts on the go by Diana Rodgers (a lovely book even if you're not Paleo). In essence you mix a grated pear and 3 spring onions with 1 tsp each of ground fennel seeds, dried sage, salt & black pepper, and combine with 1 lb of pork mince; form into little patties (sausage shapes would probably work well too) and pan fry them. You can dice the pear rather than grating it, but that's what I did. Grating produces a pretty wet mix that isn't the easiest to handle, but keeps it moist when cooked. Yummy - hot or cold!
I have to admit I am struggling with food at the moment :( I would be fairly happy to never eat another egg (that will wear off) and because I'm realizing that I have a problem with nuts I'm also running out of snack ideas. So much so I had chocolate today (just the one bar!)
I need to make something up myself (and the above sausages would be a good start) but having the time is a problem right now, not to mention I thought I had pork mince in the freezer - and I was wrong about that!. If anyone has any brilliant suggestions I'd appreciate it...
After work I made kale chips to take to work tomorrow, but I'm not sure how satisfying they will be...

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with courgette, leek, and yellow & red bell peppers
Lunch: homemade soup
Dinner: pork osso bucco with veg
Snacks: nuts, pork scratchings