Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Dragging....

I've given up on cutting down the caffeine so dramatically. It wasn't noticeably helping me to sleep better, but was giving me issues with being able to stay alert & productive at work, which I can't afford. So I'm having one full caff coffee in the mornings - 1 mug, not one cup - and even though I'm still knackered I'm not feeling as depressed or dragged down as I was. Though still pretty knackered.

After work today I finally managed to drag myself out for a walk into town. It was at most 2 miles, but compared to my recent record of approximately 0.6 miles it felt pretty good. I can't say I enjoyed it much - the weather was dreary and my mood matched it - but I did go. I really can't believe how hard I'm finding it at the moment. I always struggle to bother looking after myself properly when I'm depressed and going for walks definitely falls into the category of looking after myself, so I guess that's why. I still haven't been contacted by the eye hospital for my op or even a pre op check up, and the silence is getting to me... I really don't want the op obviously, but waiting to hear is proving quite hard to take. Even if they gave me a date several weeks in the future it would be better than nothing. (I'd like to believe that the delay proves I'm not too far progressed and have little to worry about, but with everything I've heard / read /experienced about the general incompetence of the NHS makes it seem more likely they've forgotten about me, and will only remember after I lose the sight in my eye... Or I chase them after the 2 months are up)

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with coconut oil, leek, mushrooms & a tiny bit of tomato
Lunch: chicken & vegetable soup
Dinner: mutton stew with sweet potato noodles
Snacks: cashews, coconut flakes, dried fruit

1 comment:

  1. Oh Chrissie, just want to send you a big, reassuring hug and my sincere hope that you'll hear something positive soon. The uncertainties in life are the hardest thing as far as I'm concerned (I deal a lot better if I at least 'think' I know what's happening) so I really sympathise.
    This sounds scary but is meant to reassure - at worst case... even if the retina detaches and the sight in the eye does go completely because of this, it's still repairable. That's what happened to my hubby - he lost all vision in the eye but after the op to 'spot-weld' the retina in place and fit the scleral buckle, he has recovered the majority of his sight in the 'mended' eye.
    However, if you do notice a significant deterioration (or flashing lights at the periphery of vision, or a cloudy 'curtain' effect or anything else odd) - get on to them a.s.a.p and INSIST that they reassess you there and then. Sadly, I've come to the conclusion that the NHS sometimes reacts most to 'he (or she) who shouts loudest' - as unfair as that seems!

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