Friday, 21 February 2014

Whole 30 day 19

Well, I've already been informed of my next hospital appointment - its on the 26th of Feb,or to put it another way, 1 week after the last one rather than 2 months. Ah well, best to get it over with I suppose...

At the moment my life is revolving around house purchase stuff - mortgage applications, talking to estate agents (no-one wants to do that...), solicitors... M can't get a signal in his office so they all have to have my phone number and I get to liaise if I can't answer questions directly. It's masses and masses of fun and even though our offer was accepted only a couple of days ago I can already feel my blood pressure - and cortisol levels - rise with the stress. Someone tell me, why do I keep doing this to myself? If ever a person was a natural born sitting tenant it's me, yet I keep finding myself in the same position, and instead of getting better at it and feeling more relaxed because of all the past experience of it, I just start expecting problems before they can arise, it's madness and definitely not a survival mechanism. Any time I start building up stress I start suffering anxiety dreams when I manage to sleep, while losing the ability to get to sleep in the first place... Last night I did get to sleep, but it was a horribly restless night and I've been knackered all day today - just barely finding the energy to walk a couple of miles for some shopping at lunchtime, although I enjoyed it when I did.
No training after work due to mortgage application work...

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with mushroom, leek & tomato
Lunch: golden cauliflower soup with a little tuna mayo salad
Dinner: ginger-lime white fish (halibut? It was in an unlabelled package in the freezer & I can't remember what I ordered) with roasted baby fennel
Snacks: cashews & toasted coconut flakes

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