Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Penultimate day working away

My proper replacement started today so I got to repeat the handing over work stuff with extra trying to teach someone new about the project stuff aaarrrggh.
Morning I glanced out of the office window and it was bloody snowing!!! Very light and very short lived but of course it put images of being trapped up here in a hotel I have to pay for out of my own pocket because I'm not working here any more so from then on I spent more time weather watching than looking at my PC...
My replacement is even more cynical and jaundiced in out look than me, so that was good anyway...
Somehow I managed to overwrite yesterday's post with this one and lose yesterday's completely. I'm not sure how that happened... Ah well,it wasn't very interesting anyway.
For my last night st my hotel I decided to treat myself to a meal in the restaurant with TWO glasses of one (one a celebratory prosecco, then a glass of merlot). As always it's not the best restaurant ever, but it was tasty and more or less Paleo if you ignored the vegetable oil that was probably used to cook it with.

Tomorrow I'm going home!!! I'm leaving work around 12:00 so I shouldn't have any traffic issues, and my brother is coming to visit us for the weekend - which will of course include a day out in London. Watch this space....

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: cold meat & salad
Tea: butcher's steak with sweet potato fries and a little chilli spiced creme fraiche
Snacks: dried fruit, grapes & Greek yoghurt

Tuesday, 28 January 2014


Thanks Diane,  I think you're right about the stress - specifically the stress I've been feeling working away and really feeling unable to control my environment here. Now I have only 4 more days, even though I like everything except the location of the office, I feel like a weight has been lifted and I guess that is making me feel far more relaxed generally. Including about food - though in the case of yesterday it's helped by the fact that it's TTOM and therefore I can 'explain it away' without feeling it's a sign of overall weakness, greed or apathy :-)
I'm actually considering doing food & drink things this week I've been wanting to do but avoiding because if it's good it might become a habit - such as trying the fish & chip shop across the road from my hotel, or possibly trying a dish in the hotel restaurant that I've been considering from the beginning. Tonight I just went into the hotel bar and had a bunless burger and a glass of wine after being caught in a sudden downpour coming back from Tesco; I followed it with a hot bubble bath and I'm contemplating an early night since I was woken up in the middle of the night by my radiator making strange banging noises last night.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: prawns, a hardboiled egg, and salad
Dinner: bunless burger topped with cheese & chilli with fries (a tiny portion)
Snacks: cashews, Greek yoghurt, wine gums whoops oh well...

Monday, 27 January 2014

Last week working away–hurray!!!

I had another lovely weekend visiting my Dad though the weather was very unhelpful yesterday. I have to confess I did nag them a bit about using horrible processed fats – margarine and vegetable oils – but they taught me a lesson by offering me Lincolnshire plum bread, which I adore and can’t resist despite its not being remotely gf, so that taught me a lesson Winking smile

We mostly ate healthily and deliciously - on Thursday we had pan fried salmon with ratatouille,  Friday a lovely Caribbean Beef Stew (which I will be making and will tell you more about then), Saturday I cooked Chinese - barbecued pork and a beef stirfry (with rice), and Sunday Bolognese sauce over pasta for them, cabbage and courgette for me.

On Saturday we went to Newark on Trent (technically in Nottinghamshire but only a 25 minute drive from their house.) I loved the town centre and now have another place I'd like to live some day Smile It's a town not a village, but not massive, yet it had no less than 4 independent butchers and a market 3 times a week - my kind of town Smile and lots of beautiful historic buildings – it’s a long term market town with Civil War history, including a ruined castle destroyed by the Roundheads following its surrender on the orders of Charles 1. There is an ugly industrial end but that doesn’t spoil the town centre…



Yesterday it poured with rain from about 9am to 2:30pm and was really depressing. I was champing at the bit to go for a walk but when we eventually ventured out around 2:30 the wind was so cold we did a quick circuit of the village then went back to the house and shifted furniture around (they're having a ceiling replastered and needed to clear out the room). Then I fell asleep on the sofa. Twice. I'm like some kind of rock star.

I slept a bit last night but woke up early and was tired enough to drink excessive amounts of coffee again today. I also had a carb slip (see below) but managed to stay gf, which is after all the most important thing for me. I'm feeling slightly (too?) relaxed about food this week now that there's only a few days till I reclaim my kitchen so it doesn't bother me too much.

I caught the train back this morning as usual when I visit Dad and then walked from the station – almost 2 miles in total I believe, so that was good as it was the only real exercise I got today. Given my (probably psychological/pathological) problem sleeping on Sunday nights I never seem to have the energy to train on Mondays. On top of that lack of energy, I’ve also had back ache all day, probably arising from the 2 mile walk with a heavy rucksack on my back AND heavy laptop case (my work laptop – not exactly slim-line) in my hand. 

Food today:

Breakfast: hard boiled eggs

Lunch: ham & a packet of crisps (oops - at least they were gf)

Tea: cold meat with salad and Greek yoghurt

Snacks: natural yoghurt, cashews, ok I was going to hide this but I need to not do that, Trek cocoa brownie bar & small bag Randoms Sad smile

Thursday, 23 January 2014


I decided to skip ahead in my book from reading the horror stories to the section on how to improve your health through the specific plan in this book. Given the amount of trouble I often have controlling what I eat myself I think I can safely push aside the obsession with changing what other people do! Thanks for your comment this morning Diane, you are absolutely right -  taking things with a pinch of salt and reducing stress right... Starting Now!
Interestingly I realized something after I posted yesterday (and it was reinforced by Deniz's comment today) - and that is that while I'm worrying about what I believe to be excessive carb consumption, they are equally concerned about what they believe to be excessive restriction of perfectly acceptable, even healthy foods. Anyone who's read this blog for a while knows how much my eating has varied over the past few years, from alternating between omnivorous and vegetarian eating on a daily basis / spending a week being vegetarian to trying a raw food detox, to alternate day fasting, low fat high protein, to high fat low carb... They were all done or attempted on the basis of reading materials that convinced me they were at least worth a shot, and the majority of them didn't work for me, mainly due to sustainability issues. On top of that the only long term success at weight loss I can really point to in my own history was actually the result of calorie counting, fundamentally a low fat diet, before I started blogging. So who am I to say that next week / year I won't discover that this is wrong for me too? I'm already frustrated by the lack of weight loss I've achieved so far - though not by how I feel overall when I stick to it for long enough to feel the effects - so maybe I should just relax and keep an open mind... Even about the lifestyles I'm not currently following :-)

I am actually back at my Dad's house now, which is as lovely as always. There any only 2 things about starting my new job next week that make me a little sad, one is that I like my current team (though I also like the one I'm going back to), and the other is that I'll be further away from Lincolnshire. I really don't know why I've fallen so in love with the place, or why I feel so at home there, perhaps it's some subconscious memory of living there the first 5 years of my life, but I talked about it with my brother last weekend and he feels a lot of the same things. Whatever the reason I truly believe I'll end up moving there myself some time, although not for a few years given the lack of employment up there.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs with red pepper, leek & mushrooms
Lunch: chicken breast (roast) with pickled salad vegetables & a satsuma
Dinner: pan fried salmon fillet with homemade ratatouille followed by a piece of gf rocky road tray bake
Snacks: cashews, Greek yoghurt

Wednesday, 22 January 2014


I'm reading an excellent new book about the impact of carbs (esp grains) on the brain - it's called Grain Brain, by Dr David Perlmutter, and is absolutely fascinating in the explanations of links between excessive carbs, grains generally, and especially gluten and brain disorders including depression, Parkinson's & Alzheimer's, ADHD & autism among others. It's kind of worrying as well though, because based on what he has to say I'm getting concerned about the current & future health of several of my relations, especially my Dad, who's on statins, and my mother's diabetic OH. I can't make them change what they're doing and I'm not qualified to really analyze the data I'm reading - it's compelling to me but I'd probably be as involved if I was reading an equally well-written treatise recommending a vegan lifestyle or a low fat diet - but I'm freaking out slightly at the idea of increased risk of Alzheimer's for both of them (in Dad's case especially as his father had Alzheimer's, but being diabetic seems to be a massive risk factor too) So what do I do? They both eat bread by the ton, pastry and other gluten sources as well, and both are stubborn & set in their ways and I'm not willing to annoy them or push them away by banging on about something they neither of them are interested in, but also don't want to lose them prematurely if it could be prevented. Arrrggghh maybe I should just not read this kind of book and live in blissful ignorance instead... Come to think of it last time I visited Dad I was spreading germs all over the place and he resisted infection and is fine so maybe I should just shut up and stop worrying about him...
As I'm getting closer to returning home I'm also trying to plan how I'll be eating massively better than I have been. I've got loads of whole30 approved recipes bookmarked, I'm building a shopping list and already planning menus for the first week back - I'm actually getting excited about getting back to where I want to be!!!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs cooked with red pepper, leek & mushroom
Lunch: chicken lentil soup from the canteen. The lentils make it non-paleo but it was the only Gf option on the entire canteen menu
Tea: cold chicken & salad
Snacks: cashews, Greek yoghurt, hardish boiled egg

Tuesday, 21 January 2014


I slept reasonably well last night, but was horrified when the alarm went off and felt quite groggy - I had some wine and a Nytol before bed to guarantee sleeping, and it worked! But it was hard getting out of bed and I had to come back in 3 times after leaving the room through forgetting one thing after another. As a result I had lots of coffee - more than usual by far - and felt like my head was floating somewhere near the ceiling most of the day. I was fairly busy at work, which was lucky as I didn't have time to embarrass myself snoozing at my desk!
When I got back to the hotel I was torn between going to Tesco for some finger food or going to the hotel pub for something. In the end the pub won because it's been such a horribly cold day here that cold meat seemed really unappealing. As I was trying to make up my mind there was a knock on the door - a maintenance man come to change a bulb in the room. It should have taken 2 minutes but when he went to take out the old bulb there was a loud bang, a spark, total darkness & a smell of burning... So it took closer to 45 minutes and involved a new light fitting being fetched and installed, by which time it was late enough to go straight to the pub for tea. I picked a very spicy dish but as do often is the case it really wasn't spicy (I hoped it would blow my head off a bit!) Ah well, still it was tasty.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with red pepper, leek &  mushroom
Lunch: homemade soup from Well Fed 2 - Silky Gingered Zucchini Soup. Very tasty! And some Greek yogurt
Dinner: chicken wings & coleslaw
Snacks: cashews and a few pork scratchings

Monday, 20 January 2014

Another week

The weekend wasn't very successful with 3 walks - all under 3 miles - no training and too many carbs including mood enhancing ice cream and culminating in a Krispy Kreme lemon meringue doughnut (which weirdly gave me no gluten ingestion symptoms.
I've  been feeling quite down for a few days - fat, ugly, unfit, old etc etc etc... Just the result of being run down after the bug of last week combined with a long term hatred of the view in the mirror... I'm still congested and have a lingering cough that's really irritating now.
Another Sunday night with no sleep last night - I can't say how glad I am to  have driven up here for the last time. This weekend I'll be catching the train to visit my dad and the following Monday I'll be travelling approximately 12 miles to the office I worked at last. And that will also mean reclaiming the kitchen, regaining control of what I eat, and hopefully a proper run at being whole30 compliant (probably not the 1st weekend I'm back as my brother is visiting us and we'll be going into London for the day - but after that will do)

Food today:
Breakfast: 1 sausage, 1 egg, 2 rashers bacon and a slice of black pudding
Lunch: homemade cream of cauliflower soup (recipe in Well Fed 2) and Greek yoghurt
Snacks: 1 hard boiled egg, an apple and a satsuma

Friday, 17 January 2014

Home again

The cold is now an annoying persistent cough and bunged up nose so I'm feeling virtually human today - almost, as I can still only breathe through my mouth. Which is fetchingly adorned with two enormous cold sores as a result of the dryness and chapping caused by non-stop nose blowing. I'm so sexy I have to beat the men off with a club.

I was happily free of carb craving today, and I also avoided feeling too bad after my overindulging yesterday - even the non-gf fish & chips didn't affect me apart from being such a big portion that I felt stuffed.
I'm working from home tomorrow so today I had the joyfulness that is working a full day before driving 145 miles home mostly in the dark. I'd be a massive liar if I said that I like days like this (next week I'm back to see my dad and then on my last day I'll work Friday morning in the office so it's the last time I'll be doing it) and it always leaves me knackered, so once I got home I really didn't want to do anything except collapse in a big puddle on the sofa. Instead we went out to wetherspoons to eat, got rained on (hard) and then went straight to bed - which is why this didn't get posted yesterday.

Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: 'fajitas' - spicy pork, salad & stuff served in a wrap - then unwrapped & dismantled before eating.
Dinner:lamb rogon josh with rice (so not grain free) and beer..
Snacks: Greek yogurt, cashews

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

On the road to recovery

For the first time today I just feel like I have a cold, rather than hit by a superbug driving a train. It's almost pleasant. So I will endeavour not to be all moaning & whinging for today (while making no promises for tomorrow...)
I woke up this morning at 1:47 (you may have noticed that was the  time of my last post - I'd written it at a much more civilized time & then forgot all about it while taking a hot bath and attacking my blood blisters with scissors) but actually managed to go back to sleep and was so asleep - and so comfortable - I was really shocked when my alarm went off. For a change I have fairly quiet neighbors at the hotel this week so I'm not spending every night jumping awake every 4 minutes.
I hate to admit it but I went off the rails today. You wouldn't think it from reading my food diary but I've not had much appetite while I had the plague, but instead of making the most of the opportunity that offered I settled for grabbing anything that remotely appealed in the hope that it might taste nice enough to eat properly. Today my appetite was back - but mainly for carbs. I'd like to think it was my body demanding what it needed for healing but I don't think that's the case so I won't kid myself. I did use having been feeling so rough as an excuse to eat what I wanted though... It's not surprising I guess that that meant carbs;  I definitely find that eating carbs makes me want carbs, and the cold 'treatments' I've been using have had between 1 & 3 different types of sugar in them, so I guess once I stop feeling breathless eating meals (due to not being able to breathe at the same time as chewing, not because I'm too weak to lift a fork) I'll have to wean myself off the carbs AGAIN...

Food today:
Breakfast: sausages & bacon
Lunch: broccoli & bell pepper soup; breadless ham & cheese sandwiches
Tea: fish & chips Aaarrrggh why why why
Snacks: Greek yogurt, cashews, eat natural bar, snickers, wine gums...

Possibly the last moaning post

I planned to work from home - well, hotel - today so I could stay in bed all day and really pamper myself. Unfortunately I couldn't connect to the network at work, so I had to drag myself in to the office (another downside of working away: if you're staying in a hotel you have to pay for that hotel room even if you're not earning... So you'll only take a sick day if you're on your deathbed)
I'm not very busy at the moment at work which means not many distractions to cut off the self pity. And being very aware that every time I cough (and cough and cough) everyone within earshot is cringing and holding their breath while cursing me for bringing my germs to work with me (or is that just me when someone else is sick???)
I can't claim I stuck to any diet today. I couldn't face cold meals all day so I used the canteen at lunchtime & the hotel bar for dinner. Now that's what I call feeding a cold!!! Not even mentioning the sweet energy boost I needed midafternoon....

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: breadless ham & cheese sandwiches and sweet potato - chilli soup from the canteen
Tea: half a roast piri piri chicken with coleslaw & fries
Snacks: cashews, Greek yoghurt, yoghurt & chocolate coated banana... Damn

Monday, 13 January 2014

Feeding the cold (and moaning a lot)

Well, despite the lurgy I had a lovely weekend. Yesterday was the least enjoyable day as my badly timed cold peaked in the afternoon and I spent a large part of the day essentially blind due to my eyes streaming constantly. In the evening I had a hot hot bath to try to sweat out the germs, which was lovely but appears not to have worked since I still feel rubbish today. My nose is bright red & sore as hell and for the first time during this cold I have a sore throat and feel feverish. I probably felt worse than I otherwise would have today because I was in work, bored rigid, and couldn't even stroke a cat to break the tedium.
I caught the train in this morning and happily there was no replacement bus to mess about with so I got on in my dad's village and stayed on till I reached a station 1.5 miles from the office. It was ok - pretty miraculous really that it fits so neatly - but I was ready to stretch my legs after 93 minutes on the train so I decided to walk from the station, a decision I regretted halfway there because I couldn't breathe through my nose and my energy levels slumped through the floor due to the weight of my luggage. Ah well, I won't be getting any other exercise so I'm sort of glad I did it kinda maybe I think... Ok not so much as I should have worn different shoes and  now both feet are blood-blistered.
I left work at 2pm because I was feeling crappy & feverish, and have since coughed my way through a long hot Epsom salts bath & snacky tea. I'm not going yet, but I'm ready for bed...

Food today
Breakfast: bits & bobs... A slice of ham & slice of cheese before leaving the house, and Greek yoghurt with carborific dried fruit from the canteen when I arrived.
Lunch: chicken cacciatore with a few small pieces of roasted potato & veg
Dinner: smoked salmon, bag if crisps (I know!!!) and Greek yogurt.
Snack: cashew nuts, apple, Mango machine smoothie (not remotely low carb but I hoped the vit C might help me feel less deathly)

Saturday, 11 January 2014

cough sneeze splutter

I haven't calculated the carbs in Lemsip & don't plan to....
Whiskey doesn't cure a cold  it helps you not to care
Feed a cold (excellent advice, Diane  thank you!) Is more fun when you feed it 85% dark chocolate... with cherry chilli filling. Courtesy of Aldi.
This morning Dad took me to Sleaford for a short stroll around.It has some nice old buildings, it's an old market town, but it doesn't seem to be a place with a lot of money and looks a little tired and neglected. I liked it though, and it had all the mod cons. My dad keeps showing me places he hopes will tempt me to move up here. If I didn't have to work... And mum & my brother didn't live down in Wiltshire... I would do in a heartbeat.
Afterwards we went to Woodhall Spa, which was still lovely. Something we didn't know last time they took me there is that there's a little cake shop there that made the wedding cake for Prince Charles & Camilla. They have a replica in the window and a selection of other cakes on display and I have to say they were dazzling. I've no idea if they taste good, though they probably do, but they are works of art. This is their website... I enjoyed the morning even though the bright sunlight made my eyes water and my nose was streaming the whole time.
After lunch we went for a walk on the fens around the village - about 4 miles in total at a nice ambling pace that wasn't too taxing given that I can't breathe through my nose at the moment. I didn't get many decent photos but the one decent one I can't figure out how to add on my phone, I may edit this later to add it.
It was a gorgeous day and as we walked I felt better; thenee got back to the house, my eyes & nose started streaming again to the degree that I could barely see (or breathe), and I plunged head first into the lemsip & then whisky. I know I sound like a man with man flu going on like this about a cold, and really appreciate your sympathetic comments despite my wussiness, but I avoided catching cold last year and I think this one is out for revenge...

Food today:
Breakfast - sausage & scrambled egg
Lunch - cold meat & cheese
Dinner - pork chops, coleslaw and a mixture of potato & sweet potato chips - proper deep fried ones
Snacks - pork scratchings & chocolate

Friday, 10 January 2014

Sniff sniffle

Work is so much better with a purring cat lying beside you... I think all offices would be better places if that was a general rule! This particular cat intermittently shows her affection with an attempt to gnaw my fingertips off but that's just her version of a loving kiss... I'm told...
I had a couple of short walks into the village to break up the work today. It was bright, dry & cold - perfect winter weather! And a really nice break from a fairly boring work day spent mostly waiting for something new to test...

But now - Aaarrrggh Nooooooo
I have a sudden stinking cold. At 6pm tonight I was fine. At 7:30 my nose was running, my eyes were streaming and I was sneezing my head off. Just at the start of the weekend, too... Bastard... Ah well, I'm armed with a Lemsip and if need be am quite prepared to drink whiskey till I kill it dead. Sniffle.

Food today
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leftover carrot & sweet potato
Lunch: cold chicken, cheese, celery & tomato
Dinner: Beef curry with cauliflower rice, topped with homemade raita (greek yogurt mixed with mint sauce) chopped cucumber, tomato, celery & banana, and just a smidgen of mango chutney (yes. I know mango chutney is NOT low carb)
Snack: Greek yogurt, dried apricots

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Thank you thank you

Thank you Jessica, Roxie, Katherine, Joy & Deniz for your lovely comments yesterday - it made me feel much better about myself! I think I hoped for a longer honeymoon period with the low carbing and was disproportionately disappointed to be feeling that way already. I'm sure you've noticed my tendency to be negative at these times.... :-( On the plus side, the cravings passed (though it took long enough to be annoying) and today I was almost totally unaware of (and actually untempted by) the tin of Belgian chocolate biscuits some kind person has deposited on the filing cabinet right next to my desk. Literally right next to my desk. Some people have no consideration :-)

I'm spending this weekend at my father's - but travelling by train rather than driving. (This is not because of the infamous ditch incident as he suggested doing it before I got up close & personal with the ditch; it just makes sense in winter because he lives in a sufficiently rural place to guarantee none of the local roads are treated and that's not great in cold wet weather. Though I've been checking and the weather there lately has been better than at home or at work...)

My plan for the weekend is to be Gf (possibly excluding beer as that doesn't bother my stomach and they make some really good beers in Lincolnshire) and as low carb as possible so long as it doesn't put Dad & his wife, C, out, since that really isn't fair. And apart from that, just to enjoy myself! I'm going there this evening and working from home tomorrow so I'll get an extra night there.

I just finished reading - devouring really - Well Fed 2 by Melissa Joulwan. I enjoyed the first book,bought the second one the minute I found it on the kindle, and read it as soon as it downloaded. Sign of a great looking cookbook? When you realize you're bookmarking every recipe :-) Definition of frustration? When you've bookmarked every recipe but don't have access to a kitchen!!!

Food today
Breakfast: bacon & poached eggs from the canteen
Lunch: chicken and ham & an apple
Dinner: roast chicken with sweet potato & veg
Snack: Greek yoghurt with black forest fruits, a few peanuts (naughty!), cashews. The yoghurt is gone and I won't be buying that brand again (unless they also do a full fat version - if so I'd try that to see if an improved texture takes the edge off the sharpness)

Wednesday, 8 January 2014


I started craving a very specific food today...

Wait for it...


So I picked up a few bits from the DIY salad bar to go with the cold meat I'd bought for tea. By the time I realized what I wanted I'd already eaten my lunch  and the salad bar had already been picked over, so there wasn't a lot but I did what I could. I most wanted bell peppers and luckily there were some still there, so I grabbed what I could.

If only that had been all I craved...

I have to confess that to stay gluten & sugar free today I had to do something pretty embarrassing this evening... The hotel put some biscuits in with the tea & coffee paraphernalia. Not just any biscuits, but stem ginger cookies... Fairly high on my list of yummy flavours, damn it! They've been there all along since I checked into the hotel on Monday and for the first 2 days I easily ignored them. Tonight I really really really wanted them... I'd love to say that self discipline, self control and motivation was all it took to resist them, but that would be a massive great big fat lie. I had to flush them down the loo while my self control lasted, then get undressed do I wouldn't go downstairs to the bar / brasserie for a snack or cocktail. Damn it, how can the motivation die so quickly? Literally only a couple of days... Days in which I've been less than comfortable wearing clothes that used to fit much better. Well, a little better anyway, lets not over-dramatize the situation, it's not like I gained 20 lbs over Christmas after all...

Ah well, one more day almost behind me...

Food today
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with mushrooms & courgette
Lunch: chicken wrapped ham
Dinner: cold meat & salad
Snack: Greek yoghurt with black forest fruits, cashews. The yoghurt is still really tart, even with the berries. I know that's probably a good thing for a low carber but you have to actually be willing to eat the stuff....

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

What a day / week

I slept so much better last night!!! I'm in a different hotel this week and it seems quieter and more comfortable (and more expensive sadly) than the usual one, although I can't judge anything except my bedroom as I never came out once I got there yesterday. The only criticism I had was a lack of bathtub in the ensuite - there is a massive shower cubicle but I can't relax by soaking in the tub for 3 hours :-(

Today I was determined to check out the gym. This hotel is part of the same chain as the one I usually stay in but it's much newer and I hoped the equipment would be too. Well, I was disappointed - it's a tiny gym with only a few pieces of equipment. In fact, a typical hotel gym. The other hotel operates it's gym as a membership gym to the public, so it's much bigger. Ah well, I'm suffering from… not so much the carb flu, more the carb cold - and don't have the energy to train at the moment anyway. In addition, the one downside to the location of this hotel is that it's not as convenient for shopping for lunches & dinners - I had to stop on the way to work this morning instead of picking it up in a more leisurely fashion in the evening. I suppose going back to the other place won't be a bad thing after all...

Food today was harder - I guess starting eating later was the key yesterday. I had my breakfast at about 6:20 and was already snacking by 8:30 (not on forbidden foods mind you). Still, I have too much weight to lose to settle for eating excessive amounts of acceptable foods, so I need to watch that. I'm not worried too much at the moment though since I am eating only acceptable foods after very much not doing for a few weeks - baby steps!

Today I was offered a 3 month extension at my current contract. Of course I haven't had the paperwork back from my last boss, so I'm having to chase him. I told my current agent I was probably going back there but she's holding on for a few days to see if the other job falls through before recruiting my replacement. I really didn't expect this given that there have been such upheavals on the project - I’d convinced myself I was being viewed as a potential scapegoat to explain away the problems on the project. It makes me feel a bit bad for wanting to leave (not bad enough to actually stay on here unless the other one falls through though...)

Unbelievable... On Sunday the house was baking hot (helping to keep me awake Sunday night) so when M got home yesterday to find it was still really hot we called our letting agent & asked them to get a plumber / heating engineer out. In the meantime M tried to turn down the radiator in the bedroom and found a leak. So the plumber guy came out today and fixed those alright... But M got home today and found water dripping from the light fitting in the hall that appears to have started in a leak in the airing cupboard...
Can I say I'm glad we just rent it????

Food today
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with mushrooms & courgette
Lunch: ham and cheese 'sandwiches' & a handful of cherry tomatoes
Dinner: chicken breast & cheese
Snack: an apple, Greek yogurt, cashews. The yogurt was Chobani natural 0% and it's both sharper in flavour and less creamy in texture than my favourite Fage. (the creaminess is not a fair comparison as I generally eat the full fat Fage, the 0% one is less creamy too). I'll have to add fruit to the rest I think, it's too tart for my taste on it's own

Monday, 6 January 2014

I am sooooo tired

 Last night I got about 2 hrs sleep. I don't know if it was because I wasn't looking forward to returning to working away or just anxious after realizing that I'd forgotten to pack multiple important / essential things (fortunately I realized at 7pm last night when I could fix it, not after I drove 100 miles) but my brain wouldn't stop racing and I couldn't get to sleep. Of course that only got worse the longer I tossed and turned and worried about not being able to get to sleep...

 My drive in this morning started out well, the weather was much calmer and less horrible than I expected in Berkshire and traffic was just the right level to illuminate the roads with no traffic jams or hold ups. But the M1 was very unpleasant with driving rain that covered parts of the road as the drainage couldn't cope, lots of spray and some high winds. Nothing compared to the weather that's been hammering the coast of course, and certainly nothing compared to the snow storms in the US (if anyone reading this is being affected by that I hope you're managing OK)
I was thinking of going to the gym today but had zero energy after the bad night & early start - get this, in addition to the problems I was already having my alarm went off 23 minutes early, I think because the battery on my iPad was getting low. The perfect end to a crappy night.

 I must admit I was expecting to crave sweet stuff today, both as an energy boost and because I've been eating more of it over the holidays. Amazingly though that wasn't the case at all - in fact not only did I not want sugary snacks this morning, I didn't want any snacks at all, as my breakfast kept me full till lunchtime. I realize as I'm writing that that this was probably partly due to the fact that I ate it an hour later than usual after arriving at work (I was really hungry for the last 40 minutes of my journey in.) I'll take it though, as mornings are typically my worst time for snacking and nibbling / grazing. I behaved all day at work, and at the hotel as well... Amazing! No gluten. No grains. No sugar. No booze. OK, also no exercise, but then a crap night followed by a long drive and a full day's work while readjusting to low carb is a fairly good excuse I'd say...
Food today
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs, bacon & avocado in homemade mayonnaise
Lunch: leftover beef stew & a handful of cherry tomatoes
Dinner: deli roast beef, sliced cheddar & 25g of cashews.
Snack: an apple

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Small victories...

At Christmas I bought some Heston Blumenthal's Christmas Pudding ice cream that didn't get eaten. At lunchtime today I gave some to M, and dropped a little on the (clean) work surface... I tasted it, it was yummy, and I considered eating some, but I put it back in the freezer and ate Greek yogurt with blueberries instead :-)
And no booze today even though I'm back to work tomorrow up north and deserve some comfort...


The reason I said I was going to post my New Year weight on here is that I think it helps me to be accountable. If I hide something that I'm not proud of and avoid talking /writing about it I don't just see it as something private but as something shameful - for instance, when I first started binge eating I didn't tell anyone and tried to cover it up, spiralling into a cycle that was really hard to break out of - one which I only broke out of when I finally told M what was going on. I'm not saying gaining a bit of weight is something I feel that strongly about NOW, just that it's a pattern I've been in and don't want to revisit. Having said all that, I really don't want to type in this number and I came prepared with excuses (I'm constipated - true, I'm retaining water due to carbs - probably true, but I'm the one who ate them, etc etc)
but here it is: 164.5 lbs. My ideal weight, I've decided, would be 146 lbs so actually the right digits are there, but they're in the wrong order ;-)
So now I know what I have to do and how big the job is. You can't get where you need to go if you don't know where you're starting out!!!
Wish me luck....

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Cluck cluck cluck

Me = chicken.

This morning I looked at the scales and was too wimpy to stand on them. I know I feel heavy and my clothes appear to have shrunk in the wash over Christmas – all of them or at least all the ones that have waist bands.

So the massive cliché of having a New Year’s Resolution… one I actually intend to stick to though – so that’s a bit novel. I WILL LOST WEIGHT. AND EAT LOW CARB. AND TRAIN.

So there.

I’m doing better with the food now that New Year is out of the way. I admit that we’ve been going down the ‘use it up before being good’ train rather than the ‘get rid of it because its bad for you’ train but I bought so little that even including the gifts we got in the chocolate line there wasn’t a lot of scope for evil there. The booze bought in for people visiting has been another matter but now I’m sick of it and how it makes me feel so that’s stopping too. I hope that the high carb nature of my eating over Christmas caused some water retention and bloating that will disappear fairly quickly not that I’m not doing that any more (hello scrambled eggs for breakfast… every day) but we’ll have to see. I plan to weigh myself on Sunday as the official start point so if I don’t post for the next month you’ll know exactly has well that went…

I’m also reading more motivational books and watching the plethora of diet shows that appear on TV this time of year  to help get myself started. I’m currently reading The Calorie Myth by Jonathan Bailor – only just started it so its too soon to comment. (Diane I haven’t watched the show you mentioned in your comment yet but I did record it and plan to watch to today along with any others I can find.)

I also want to be a lot more consistent with filling in my food diary on and keeping this blog updated. So much as I don’t want to and would rather hide it when I weigh on Sunday…. I’m going to fess up and tell you what the bastard scales say…

Friday, 3 January 2014

Thursday Jan 2

Happy New Year!
I meant to post on New Year's Eve but...
We took M's parents to my favourite restaurant in England, the Hinds Head in Bray, for lunch in NYE and due to an excessive amount of booze (or more accurately due to my excessively mixing the types of booze I drank) not onnly can I no longer state my holiday is hangover free, but I actually suffered the worst type of hangover in my opinion - the same day hangover, where you know it could be held off by continuing to drink but the delayed consequences will be truly awful if you do...
But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. M's parents came as planned on Monday and we just went to our local Wetherspoons for a casual (large) lunch - in my case a Tennessee burger with chips AND onion rings that I did eat, with a roll that I didn't eat. Followed by a Gf ice-cream sundae. We walked into town in pouring rain (i'd already done that walk in the rain earlier too) but it stopped while we were eating so we walked back and I changed into proper walking boots and headed straight back out with my FiL for a 4.5 mile walk (a total for the day of about 7 miles for me) then a relatively quiet evening with a snacky tea and some beer, not too much to avoid ruining the following days lunch. The next day I made breakfast for everyone then walked into town for some quiet alone time. We had a fantastic lunch but I was unable to resist their wide range of imaginative & unusual cocktails - hence my early hangover. I blame the last one  with New Zealand gin - I'm very not used to gin. Once again the weather was awful early on then improved enough to allow FiL & I a post-lunch walk. This was punctuated by a stop at a pub (just a half pint for me) and then by my slipping on a wet leaf and dropping onto one knee at the side of the road on the way home (I swear I wasn't falling down drunk :-)). Ouch!
We got home and I changed out of my walking gear to find a somewhat scraped and decidedly bruised knee. That's also when the hangover really hit - possibly because the house was so warm after our chilly walk - so I was embarrassingly in bed by 7 in a darkened room :-( I've never been fussed about staying up till midnight on NYE and M was deep in a motorcycle discussion with his dad so if my stomach hadn't been pounding and my head lurching - or vice versa - I would probably have made an excuse for an early night anyway... I'm such a good hostess, come see me and I'll abandon you early evening to collapse into bed :-)
Yesterday I went for a cold wet walk in the morning as I wasn't fully recovered then vegetated the rest of the day (my MiL gave me a onesie for Christmas, brilliant for feeling cozy while in a self-pitying huddle on the sofa :-))