Monday, 16 September 2013

Whole30 day 13, 14, 15 - half way there!!!

My weekend sucked. Lots of drizzle to deflate my mood further than it already was, no long walks or training because hey, lying around wallowing takes less effort, no visits to NT properties, no meals out because whole30 doesn't really work in restaurants. (imagine the order - I'll have a steak please, cooked in olive oil, lard or ghee, not butter or vegetable oil. No herb butter or sauce on the steak. No dressing on the salad unless its just a plain olive oil-balsamic vinegar dressing without any added sugar, and it must be olive oil not rapeseed or vegetable oil. No starter, dessert or potato side dish. With a glass of water...) Saturday morning I did go shoe shopping in Reading, but as I HATE shoe shopping and was only looking for plain black shoes for work (that didn't come with a 4 inch stiletto heel) even that wasn't a lot of fun. As much as I feel the whole30 is good for my body, the list of things I can't eat while doing it adds to the reasons why a day out is less fun - I can't even enjoy a nice latte, and Americanos just aren't as treat-like. Saturday was the first time in ages I went to Reading and didn't bother popping into a coffee shop because there was just no point...
On Saturday I managed to reduce myself to close to the levels of crying myself to sleep, in fact. I ate too many nuts (definitely the chocolate substitute of my current diet) but managed not to dive into the carbs or break the no booze embargo.
The high point of Saturday was watching the movie The Hunger Games, which I thought was a brilliant adaptation, both well written and well implemented. The character and acting of Katniss was particularly very satisfying.
Sunday involved more feeling sorry for myself, lots of laundry, a pathetic 1 mile walk, and another movie which we did enjoy though it wasn't a patch on the Hunger Games - this one was The House at the End of the Street. It was definitely reminiscent of Psycho but without the tension...
So, today I was almost - not quite, but almost - glad to get back to work. I struggled to get up and spent the time before work laboriously cleaning the coffe maker instead of enjoying a quiet cup of coffee. I did remember that the kitchen at work was due to be out of action again this morning and stopped off at Costa on the way to work for a massive, unexciting Americano.
At lunchtime I had to waste time queuing in the post office so didn't have time for lots of walking. The weather was a lot better than over the weekend, and that does definitely make me feel a bit better. The house drama continues though, so I'm still stressed and uptight.
On the food front I'm not eating any of the forbidden foods / drinks but in terms of the spirit of the thing I'm eating more nuts and bacon than I should - they're both supposed to treated as condiments really, not the basis of entire meals, but as my stress levels have risen they've become comfort foods for me. I've noticed that since things started going pearshaped with the house I've been thinking much more about the foods I'm not allowed (greek yoghurt (sob!) Peanut butter (whimper!)), which I think could push me towards a comfort eating binge if I'm not careful, so instead of forbidding the nuts & bacon as well I'm settling for being glad there's something that helps which doesn't sit on the avoid totally list. It certainly doesn't help with the separation of food and emotions, and may mean I don't do as well as I should on the plan, but at least I hope not to crash off it too hard. The one thing about this plan that is both motivating and depressing is that if you cheat but don't want to just give up on it altogether you're supposed to start over, which in my case would mean the last 2 weeks would have been thrown away. It may come to that, but I'm fighting it at the moment since I don't think feeling like I've failed on this will help me deal with everything else that's going on...
Food today:
Breakfast: egg, avocado & bacon salad in my homemade avocado dressing
Lunch: Soup. And cashew nuts.
Dinner: Rabbit (curried but removed from the sauce - it proved difficult to eat when I had it as a curry a couple of weeks ago because it was still on the bone) with grilled asparagus & broccoli
Snack: roast beef

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