Thursday, 20 June 2013

Its getting worse...

I woke up even earlier today even after training yesterday and hoping that would help. At this rate I may just give up going to bed at all (until I crack up from sleep deprivation). Or I could just buy some more nytol - which I did at lunchtime today..
This morning I was feeling quite pissy and resentful because of the crap night I'd spent, so as usual I behaved in a totally measured, grown up fashion, analysing the problem and devising a strategy... Not. I ate a protein cookie instead. Too sweet (sweetened with artificial sweeteners, which I'm trying to avoid) not gluten free let alone grain free, low in fat and high in very processed protein... As I finished it I was already saying 'why did you do that???' And feeling that everyday feeling of 'you've ruined the whole day you jackass' and 'with that amount of self discipline no wonder your weight is barely shifting' - you know, the usual self-loving, helpful comments a lot of dieters probably make. Then I fed it into my online food diary on www,weightlessresources.co.uk.
Admittedly this doesn't alter the facts above about grains and sweeteners, but I discovered it only had 20g of carbs - which is exactly the allocation by meal recommended by Barry Groves in the diet plan I read first before going low carb. So I was on the verge of throwing the whole day away because of a slip that broke the letter & spirit of my diet plan... but in a way that I can totally live with AS A ONE OFF.
Notes to self: 1) a cookie at breakfast time doesn't make up for lost sleep & 2) don't over-react until you have all the facts. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my head. And I'm the one who lives there!
Oh yes, and 3) I'm cutting down on caffeine in case I'm just ridiculously sensitive to it, and taking the damn Nytol. If that's not enough I may have to take up meditation... And I really don't know if I can do that...

Under the motivation of buying my Nytol I did go out at lunchtime - and spent 20 minutes wandering around the High Street. It started drizzling so I headed back after walking ooo, at least 0.6 of a mile... I want clear, dry, sunny weather, not too hot and not humid please, then I'll walk at lunchtimes. Clearly the 20 minutes of ambling were not enough to refresh me as I was absolutely knackered half an hour later - as in dropping eyelids and a tendency to a nodding dog impression. I had a mug of decaf (I believe that it still contains a small amount of caffeine) because I didn't want to embarrass myself falling asleep at my desk, but it was still a lower caffeine day - 2 cups (not mugs) of black coffee before work and one mug of decaf after lunch rather than my normal 2 cups & 2 mugs of full caffeine coffee.

Food today:
Breakfast: protein cookie
Lunch: cooked chicken breast and pretty yellow baby plum sized tomatoes of an unknown breed
Dinner: feta cheese salad
Snacks: scrambled eggs (that should have been breakfast) and pork scratchings

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