Monday, 29 April 2013

Catch Up

Well, I beat my 25 miles walking target for last week! At the weekend I walked 20 miles+, between a 12 mile walk on Friday and a 9 miler on Sunday, with a couple of much shorter strolls in there as well. However on Sunday I walked to a local town in somewhat of a gloom, and by the turnaround point (there's no train station there or I would've caught a train) I was so miserable at the thought of having to walk another 4 miles... I hurt my back again yesterday, and that probably had a lot to do with it. 

I don't plan to renew the challenge this week as although it did motivate me it also pressured me in a way that made the actual walking less fun, which in the long run won't keep me lacing up my walking boots! Although I did walk 2 miles at lunchtime - shorter than I was doing last week - because I had some shopping to do.I didn't walk after work as I've been dragging all day.

On the subject of walking I signed up for the Kidney Research UK London Bridges walk in July last week. If anyone's interested in doing the walk (7 miles alongside the Thames) you can register here, and maybe I'll see you there? I'll be walking with my father in law, and I'm trying to persuade my brother to come too.

Now I suppose I can't really get away with just talking about walking and nothing else on a diet and healthy living blog, so here goes... You already know on Friday I did go a little carbier than usual, drinking (rose) wine at lunch. I haven't confessed yet that after lunch, while a little drunk, I went shopping for some more wine (though I gave this lot to M and didn't drink any more of it myself) and also bought some dark chocolate covered honeycomb... And ate some of it. I also didn't mention eating a piece of flatbread at the restaurant on Friday and tasting a Bellini cocktail as well as having mouthfuls of a couple of pieces of the bread basket (literally one bite each from 2 pieces M had). This wasn't a terrible indulgence I guess for a cheat meal (crap, also had a couple of crackers with the cheeseboard I had instead of dessert). Anyway, whether it was carbs, or wine, or mixing wine and whiskey (not literally mixed - yuck!), or a bit of all the above, I felt like cr@p Friday evening, skipped dinner, stopped drinking, and then didn't drink or break the diet at all on Saturday. Sunday I had some whiskey (medicinal for my bad back & depression) but still stuck to the diet otherwise, and now feel much better. But the rest of the chocolate I bought is still in the house. I didn't eat it all on Friday or go back for anymore the rest of the weekend - but I think I might've if the being fed up on Sunday hadn't happened 4 miles away from the chocolate. So I think I'll be throwing the rest away later - better safe than sick, sorry, bloated and depressed...

After complaining last week that I missed the quick easiness of eating a sandwich for lunch I bought a new e-book - Mark Sissons' Primal Footprint Quick & Easy Meals - and found an answer in the form of slicing open a chicken breast and using it as the 'bread' in a primal sandwich. I tried it today and it worked well, but I wouldn't want to do it every day (if only because chicken costs a lot more than bread!) It's a lot more filling than bread too, of course...

Friday, 26 April 2013

Yesterday was M's birthday so I did little walking - less than a mile and a half at lunchtime because I was shopping for his birthday dinner and nothing after work. I 'treated' myself to a glass of red wine with dinner (scottish fillet steak with salad & avocado for me, with potatoes parmentier for him) and then regretted it all evening and into this morning - one glass, just one, and if you could've felt the way my stomach was rolling and griping about it you'd have thought it was at least a bottle! This morning I took painkillers for a headache then hit the road for a long, double digit recovery walk into Henley and back (11 miles in total, so I beat my own challenge this week)
I stopped in Henley to buy macadamia nut butter at the health food store and had a ginormous latte at a coffee shop called Brazilian Bloc before picking up some odds & ends and heading back home. The weather wasn't great for a walk to begin with - it had rained over night and still very grey and drizzly - but about 4 miles in the clouds lightened and the sun almost tried to peek out. I don't mind as much if its grey for a long walk since I get quite warm anyway and I've already very lightly caught the sun this week (not a burn, just a healthy glow!) Plus I wasn't in work, and that's always good!
Then when I was about a mile from home I got a message from m proposing lunch out at a local restaurant known for being owned by the son of Michael Parkinson. This is actually unfair as its an excellent restaurant with a Michelin star - and we had a great meal. As you know I no longer photograph everything I eat, but look at this roasted halibut with Samphire, cockles & mussels and tell me you don't see why the exception... if you can!

After lunch I walked another mile ....Knackered!!! And a bit pissed.... I drank wine, which of course is not really low carb, so today became a cheat day... But I'm looking forward to getting back to normal tomorrow!

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Still walking...

My legs ached a little bit this morning. It felt both good - I did some work yesterday! and bad - all I did was walk yesterday, I used to be able to do that distance without any ill effect (unless I got blisters from wearing the wrong shoes), where has my fitness gone???? Luckily the aching wore off quickly and I went straight into denial about it ;-)

I'm also in denial about the fact that our weather forecast shows that spring will be over by Friday and not because summer is starting early... This morning there was a little sunshine first thing but by 9am it was grey and dull again, making me doubly glad I was out twice yesterday when just being outdoors was actively enjoyable.

At lunchtime I took a walk anyway; it wasn't as interesting yesterday as I did follow the efficient but boring 'head out for 1.5 miles then turn around' approach. This gave me time to eat my lunch as well - the downside to bringing thick homemade soups in to the office being that they aren't so easy to eat while actively working. That is one regret I have about jettisoning the humble sandwich from my diet... I could eat those while walking if I'd wanted to!
I've got to admit this morning I wanted to eat excessively out of boredom. And even considered satisfying that urge with high carb junk.... It wasn't an irresistible urge - I had no suitable snacks with me and didn't actually break out of the diet and in to the vending machine - but it was a struggle not to go looking for something. At one point I was wandering if anyone would notice should I sneak out and run into town to buy some cold meat or something. Leaving aside the fact that they probably would,and the fact that I don't want to treat food as a cure for boredom, I've been eating higher levels of protein than I really want to since beginning this approach to diet - just grabbing a chicken thigh or a package of cold meat being the easiest, lowest effort & inconvenience snack for grabbing on the go. I'd really appreciate it if anyone has any suggestions for low carb snacking; I've tried nuts but inevitably overdo them, ditto cheese, I don't really want fruit/veg without a protein / fat item to balance the carbs, and have eaten way too much highly salted pork scratching when craving the crunch, and now I'm out of ideas.... Oh yes, and it can't be antisocially smelly either... I feel like I'm looking for something that doesn't exist..... Today I resorted to a mug of Bovril... Not entirely satisfying if I'm honest....

After work I went out again, a shorter walk this time - 2.5 miles. To shake things up I wore my Vibram five finger shoes - and watched my steps more carefully than usual, because stubbing your toe in those things is NOT fun!

ETA omg I'm an idiot... Talking above about wanting to eat lots, talking about walking five and a half miles today (and over 6 yesterday and on Monday) - of course I'm hungrier after adding even fairly gentle exercise after months of just talking about exercising!!!  I guess if I'm keeping it up I'll have to add some calories to my meals to ensure I don't end up imploding - or more to the point, bingeing wildly...

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

This morning I was feeling a little bit down, a little melancholy... No idea why, the sun was out, it was warm... I chalked it up to just being tired because my weekend was cut short and I was thisclose to staying at my desk through lunch, making excuses (I'm really hungry, tired, it'll still be nice enough to walk after work, blah blah) and then I remembered my silly little totally unenforced challenge to walk 25 miles this week - and I remembered Deniz' supportive comment on yesterday's post, and out I went! My plan was to just walk for 1.5 miles then turn back - that's about the most I can expect to fit into my lunchbreak without getting disgustingly sweaty and antisocial. It didn't sound too inspiring to go the same way as yesterday, so I headed off in exactly the opposite direction, and was I ever glad! I walked along the Kennet & Avon canal, wandered off and looped around, meandered and took pictures... It was a glorious day, I went 3.35 miles, got back ever so slightly later than I'd planned... But do you blame me???

Food wise I have mixed feelings. After posting yesterday I got hungry again and ate my own body weight in pistachio nuts - NOT a good idea. This morning I was about to scramble some eggs for breakfast when I realised I'd already cleaned the kitchen in case of viewings and had no room in the dishwasher - so I ended up schlepping my eggs to work and cooking them there! I was thinking briefly about stopping off on the way to the office for bacon and eggs cooked by someone else, but resisted as much to save money as to control what I ate. So I'm pleased with myself there!
When I got into my car to drive home from work it told me the outside temperature was 22 degrees! So what could I do but race home, throw on some shorts & a t-shirt and head out for another walk?
My cup (of Vit D) runneth over! And another 3.37 miles towards my target, leaving 15.3 to go...

Monday, 22 April 2013

Did I blink and miss the weekend?

How can I be back at work already???
Yesterday I worked from just before 9am till about 3:15pm. I had to go into the office rather than working from home, too, so it feels like I didn't have a weekend, especially as I went straight into housework and cooking as soon as I got home. I slept like a log for most of the night, but morning still came too soon and before I knew what was happening I was walking back into the office this morning.
Saturday was good, though I didn't quite live up to my plans. I was thinking I'd try for a double digit walk, but M suggested lunch out at a steakhouse in Reading, and as we were potentially not going to see much of each other Sunday (last time the team worked on Sunday they were in the office for 12 hours!!!) I decided that was a better idea. And ate a massive steak, with salad instead of potatoes. But I cheated a little and had a glass of red wine with it, which I quite enjoyed.
 I took a walk after we got back from Reading, and combined with the little bit we did together going to Reading and walking around the vicinity of the Oracle I managed just over 7.5 miles in total - which I'm not unhappy with. Yesterday I did about 1.5 miles before dragging myself into work, just to wake myself up, but that was all I had time for. All the housework probably made up for it though, especially as I was up and down the stairs quite a bit.

At lunchtime today I managed to fit in 3 miles and eat within my lunch hour. (ok, not quite, it took an hour & 5 minutes) I didn't want to shop, so I could focus on briskly walking the whole time without having to search the shelves or queue up, and it was really good to stretch my legs properly. I wanted to make sure I got out then as I had some jobs to do after work - makes a change for me to find a way to fit it all in instead of shrugging and deciding to walk tomorrow!

I'm thinking of setting myself a minimum target of 25 miles walked a week. If we have another spell of appalling weather I doubt I'll achieve it, but having something to aim for might help if I'm just feeling lazy. So, 22 miles to go - to be finished on Sunday or sooner.

Friday, 19 April 2013

Happier and tirederer

Yesterday I had decided to cut back on caffeine, and I started the day on decaff coffee.

 After 5 hours sleep.

By 7 I'd given in and gone for the real stuff. After lunch I nearly fell asleep during a 1 on 1 product demo at work and needed more coffee to make it through the afternoon.

Last night I slept about 4 hours.

I still want to cut back on caffeine - but not today... Definitely not today!

Sorry, nodded off on my keyboard there....

Actually this afternoon I felt fairly alert - I guess I drank even more coffee than I realised in the morning. I also remembered all my supplements this morning so that may have helped. Plus making much more effort to stay hydrated than I normally do, and getting outside for 20 minutes instead of staying put at my desk through lunch. I could feel extreme knackeredness hovering in the background waiting to descend on me like a ton of bricks, but it was politely staying out of the way for a change ;-)
I went out after work, walked a couple of miles just. It's hard to fit the walking in around work, I guess I need to win fabulous sums of money so I have time to walk 40 miles a day if I want to...
Step 1, buy a lottery ticket... I can't even remember to do that! I guess the short walks are here to stay - in the working week at least.

I'm feeling so much better today its not true. It's probably just delirium from sleep deprivation, but I'll take it anyway!

Had a really nice dinner today... I made Lyn's favourite meatloaf subbing a mixture of pork & venison mince for the beef mince she used. I had too much mixture for my loaf pan so I made a few meatballs with the excess - it was really good hot, but the meatball I popped in my mouth cold a minute ago? OMG to die for! If you eat meat and dairy, try it! Every other low carb meatloaf or meatball I've tried making has been dense as hell and just as dry, but not this one! Best news of the day - lots of leftovers! I'd add a picture but I'm on the iPad again and you know how we'll that always goes... Anyway. Make the meatloaf. And if you're low carbing, it goes great with a cheesy mash of cauliflower, black pepper Boursin, and Jarlsberg cheese!

Thursday, 18 April 2013


I've gone all weird
I'm doing an eating plan / lifestyle intended to lose weight.
I want to lose weight.

I'm not losing weight.
Normally by this point I'd be getting stressed, depressed and switching diets rather than waiting to fall off the plateau. I'd also be bingeing and hating myself.
Still not bingeing
Still not eating sweet stuff - or even savoury refined carby stuff
Still not wanting to.
So I guess I've found a plan I can stick to even through a plateau - which sounds like a good thing. But oh, the dilemma - because I really really REALLY want to lose weight. I guess I'll have to modify slightly. I'll have to start calorie counting (again!) as well as carb counting. Oh yeah, and upping the walking since I'm currently having some back pain / neck / shoulder pain that's keeping me off the mountain climber. Its kind of a shame as I was enjoying ignoring the calories, but I want to start enjoying watching the scales move (down) as well! I'll consider the last few weeks a transition period to get used to the new mindset... Now I'm used to eating more fat and getting used to less veg (apart from the constipation becoming a little more frequent) some of the tweaking I've been talking about is due. This time I mean it ;-)
I tried to walk at lunchtime, nearly got blown of my feet so I was back in the office in 20 minutes. Then I tried again after work, dressed more appropriately, and did a bit better - though at most it was a total of 3 miles all day. I have big plans for Saturday ;-)

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Lost for words

And for thoughts as well.
Today I have been by turns really busy and really bored. The most fun I had all day was starting to read the Primal Blueprint by Mark Sissons of MarksDailyApple fame. I've been looking at the blog for years, and previously owned the cookbooks electronically (but lost them when I gave up my first Kindle in favour of a Paperwhite). I hadn't actually focused on reading the whole book before but now that I'm low carb / high fat - ing I decided to go back to the basics. I'm really enjoying it so far, unsurprising really as the blog is so well-written.

Apart from that I have nothing at all to report today. I haven't broken the low carb thing; I'm still strangely failing to lose weight and hungrier than normal (hormonal issues I suspect).

No exercise today. I was cooking multiple meals so I can just heat them up from the freezer. I'm running my slow cookers at the moment because once my estate agent gets off his ass and lists the house I won't want to use them in case of viewings. I've made a massive vat of turkey vegetable soup, a large pan of turkey bolognese sauce, a beef stew and I'm now cooking an oxtail overnight. It's all (slow) go here!

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Plodding on

Rain over night, sunshine in the morning again. It's been frustrating to see the sun through the windows at work and then watch it disappear behind clouds by lunchtime every day... Today there was some watery feeble sunshine left over, but no warmth and a chilly breeze spoiled it a bit. I went out but walked less than a mile at lunchtime, but went out right after work to bring it up to 3 miles. 

This morning I really really REALLY wanted something to eat between breakfast and lunch. The only options in the office are carb bombs in a vending machine or cakes brought in to celebrate a birthday, and I didn't bring any snacks of my own. I don't mind admitting I did not have a very good morning at all, but I held on and resisted like a madwoman (I'm not sure, but its possible I was talking to myself while my head spun round 360 degrees....) The weird thing about that is that my breakfast today was bigger than yesterday in an effort to get my carbs closer to the intended 20 g per meal, yet I didn't feel that way yesterday even while bored out of my skull and I did today. I had the exact same breakfast bake (slow cooked eggs, cheese, sausage, bacon, mushrooms & spinach) both days, but today added ff Greek yoghurt & strawberries. So where did the hunger come from???? My body is weird. Anyhow, I didn't eat the carb bombs but I did eat lunch at 11:15 and then snack on chicken satay and mixed nuts after popping to co op at (real) lunchtime...

It was so horrible to read about the explosions in Boston yesterday. I don't understand people who can do something like that... I guess that I don't need to understand them to hate them though. I have a colleague who's running in London on Sunday which is kind of worrying, and I've had an email from my MiL asking if I was planning to go to watch, she worries about me... I wasn't, mainly because I'm supposed to be working, but its almost enough to make me want to go to show the bastards they can't ruin everything with their evil murderous bastardness. But I am working so I can't, I just hope the security reviews manage to lock down any loopholes or weaknesses in the process. And that they catch the people responsible & throw away the keys. I don't believe in the death penalty, but if anything could convince me... Reading about it reminded me of news stories about the IRA when I was growing up, the world never seems to run out of killers. 
I guess like everyone else, all I can do is think of the victims and their families and pray for them..

Monday, 15 April 2013

The sun shone briefly today...

... and how lovely was that to see? It looked all spring-like at last. And then it didn't any more... Sigh. I was in work, and tried to persuade my boss he should let me go out for a walk while the lovely sunshine lasted... But he was apparently under the impression I was there to benefit the company rather than me, and politely suggested I got to work instead :-(
At the weekend I spent Saturday morning on housework, getting things ready for an estate agent visit. It must have been a good workout as my legs ache embarrassingly today (I went for a walk yesterday but only managed about 4 miles - maybe slightly less as I wasn't tracking it - so I don't think that was why.) I wanted to go further but my mood was still very up and down and at that point it was mainly down so I just wasn't enjoying it enough. I turned back and we watched the inspiring true-story 3D movie Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter instead ;-)
M proposed a meal out for sunday lunch to cheer me up but for once depression worked for me/ my diet - I didn't feel like putting in the effort to shower, change, and go back out, so I made myself a salad for lunch instead, and eventually felt fairly pleased with myself for doing 'the right thing'.

I've been thinking a fair bit about my current moodiness. Obviously I do believe some of it is down to facing life unmedicated for the first time in over a year, but I also think perhaps I've been TOO low carb - I'm basing what I'm doing on a diet that allows me up to 60 g of carbs a day, but mostly I've only been managing 30 - 40 g, so I'm going to see if aiming to hit that target will help (using veg plus some fruit and dairy products to get the carbs). I'm also resorting to some supplementation - Vit D, Vit B complex, and Rhodiola rosea (I think that's how its spelt). Hopefully between those measures I'll start to feel more on an even keel instead of an emotional roller coaster - and with luck, will also feel more motivation (and energy) for training....  Today's exercise was a walk of about 1.75 miles just - I was taking a signed contract in to the estate agent and by the time I'd sat around in the office for 10 minutes waiting for them to photocopy our passports to prove we neither money launderers nor terrorists I didn't have a lot of time - plus it had clouded right over & the wind was picking up. I settled for coming home to prep tonight's dinner, tomorrow's lunch, and tomorrow's dinner while watching tv. It's true what they say, watching tv gives you a fat ass...

    Saturday, 13 April 2013

    Friday's post... late

    I nearly didn't write a post today because I'm really down and don't like inflicting myself on people in this situation. On the other hand I'm feeling weirdly isolated & lonely, and while that usually leads me to wallow in it I would prefer to find a more proactive approach to handling things. I suspect my feelings now are just down to my brain getting used to making its own levels of serotonin instead of relying on the antidepressants, while under some additional stress as we get ready to put the house on the market (the estate agent is visiting tomorrow to take photos etc so we have to stage the house tonight & tomorrow morning).
    In an attempt to feel positive I'll just report that I'm still not really tempted to buy any sweets or refined carbs - which is great, since as you know I'd normally expect to be binge eating my way out of the stress, even while taking the medication. I'm slowly starting to feel like I might be beginning to reprogram my instinctive responses *as far as food is concerned* - I'm not extrapolating that statement to other aspects of life or coping mechanisms! I've spent the last couple of days watching escapist TV in the evenings as a distraction; obviously its not a cure or even particularly productive in terms of solving the things we have to work on, but it feels better than the feelings of out-of-control despair that accompany binges anyway, and gets me out of the kitchen.
    The weather's gone to crap again here - its fairly mild in terms of temperature but very wet and dreary. I suppose I should have expected that after I actually enjoyed walking 5 miles yesterday! Due to the rain I didn't walk at lunchtime, no matter how desperate I am I'm not desperate enough to get soggy while at work...

    Thursday, 11 April 2013

    Could do better

    I'm depressed today and its my own damn fault. I ran out of clean tights this morning so I had to wear trousers to work instead of a skirt - and I am really, really, REALLY not happy with the way they fit.
    I know I ate out yesterday and therefore did not weigh myself this morning. I know I've been a tad constipated for a few days.
    I feel lazy, fat and old. I want my old (dieting star) self back. I am the same person who trained on Christmas Day, my birthday and other traditional 'days off' - but I don't feel like her right now. I'm turning into a couch cauliflower and it seems to be beyond me to get myself going again.
    I don't like myself right now, I don't like what I see in the mirror, I don't like the contents of my brain.
    I'm just so tired of being disappointed by myself, my life, and general existence
    I've rarely had such an uncomfortable and miserable day as today... About the only good thing that came of it was being motivated to walk 2 miles at lunchtime to the nearest supermarket - the first time I've done that for weeks.Then after work I did another 3 miles. I bought new tights at lunchtime, so that I can return to wearing my (more) comfortable skirts, though I don't intend to forget how I felt today since it should do more to keep me on the straight and narrow than any amount of just knowing what I should be doing has lately...
    Add to all that we're putting our house on the market and I'm having panic attacks over what has to be done and how soon it has to be done, I don't even know why because god knows we seem to move house every 5 effing minutes so it should be second nature to me...
    I literally found myself sitting in the loo at work tearfully this morning in a hugely over the top way, I can't believe how pathetic I am, I really can't...
    Stay Healthy,

    Wednesday, 10 April 2013

    Back to Normal....

    God bless OTC preparations...
    They worked and I'm back in the office. I'm not sure that's ALL good, but at least some of it is.
    Now I'm back to trying to work out why I'm losing weight so slowly. Could it be because I keep snacking big time? I never really believed that I could eat whatever I liked - so long as it was low carb - and still lose weight, but its an appealing idea (duh!) and I've been doing it anyway. Now its definitely time to take off the brakes and put my foot on the gas...
    So, from today (because I already didn't do this today) no more snacking even if I have to increase the size of my meals to start with. I'm also specifically cutting out cheese unless its part of a meal and measured accordingly, as I've been eating it fairly mindlessly lately (I've been buying it by the enormous brick - in BOGOF deals - and then going a bit crazy with it. I've now frozen the last big block, ready grated, so that I can't do that again without buying more, but its still available for making no carb cheese sauce, sprinkling onto fajitas and giving M cheese on toast) Also no more whisky to help me sleep. And that should all help, but if not - possibly the reintroduction of alternate day fasting, or some other form of intermittent fasting, though that can wait until I've given the stage 1 tweaking a week or so to take effect. I know I said all this a couple of weeks ago (or was it last week? Recently anyway) and didn't bother because I was too busy obsessing over what I would do at the weekend in London, but now that more time has passed without a sudden increase in weight loss (in fact I'm not yet back to where I was before the weekend) I'm now feeling properly motivated and undistracted... sadly that didn't kick in until after we went out for a Mexican meal this evening (sauteed prawns, chicken & beef fajitas (minus the tortillas) and strawberries with cream - though I think they were sweetened, which I did not expect), but now its here and I hope it lasts...
    I walked about 3.5 miles today btw. After work I went for a walk and discovered a new trail that I explored a bit in preparation for a proper walk, hopefully this weekend (its quite a muddy trail so if we have a lot more rain I'll leave it for now); then we walked into town for dinner. At least I got some exercise... 
    Stay Healthy,

    Tuesday, 9 April 2013

    Less good today - TMI alert

    So, not in work today. I actually slept ok last night right through to the alarm went off at 5:15. Only when I hit the bathroom did I realise there was something unpleasant and painful going on. UTI anyone?

    So, I started to go to work when I finally managed to pry myself off the loo, and 5 minutes into the journey I turned round and drove home to take OTC remedies and painkillers and stuck close to the bathroom. So I didn't manage to go for any walks either. Yesterday I managed a whopping 20 mins on the climber, today I just managed to go up and down the stairs a few times when needed...

    I entertained myself on the sofa with a marathon of Criminal Minds and then, when the serial killers got a little heavy, switched to Primeval: New World for light relief. Restful day anyway - apart from the excruciating pain of course.

    Still low carb of course, no sense throwing everything away just because I have a recurring condition after all...

    Monday, 8 April 2013

    Great weekend - and back to real life

    I'll get the moaning out of the way ASAP and just say I didn't sleep AT ALL Friday night, or very much Saturday night, so I'm knackered and did NOT want to go to work today.

    Apart from that I had a great weekend, it was lovely to see everyone, lovely to spend time in one of my favourite cities, the show was brilliant, funny and spectacular, and we ate some amazing food, especially dinner on Saturday. I was too busy enjoying myself to take any photos so I can't show it to you, but I can strongly recommend the Grand Imperial restaurant in Victoria to anyone who likes Chinese food and is visiting London. It's now in the Michelin Guide so I'm not the only one who thinks its great! I didn't stick totally to the low carb thing as I drank sake and had a mango pudding for dessert (not very sweet...) But I didn't do too badly either, having minced beef broth for my starter, followed by a whole sea bass steamed with ginger & spring onion, and poached vegetables with assorted egg (including century egg, which I'd never tried before), and totally avoiding rice, noodles & deep fried battered stuff and sharing my sake and vegetables with the table. I still ate too much, and more carbs than usual, and I drank too much booze and not enough water (though I had a big pot of jasmine tea with the meal, and some water, as well as the 300 ml bottle of sake)
    Sunday we headed for home at 9. I then tried, all day, to find the energy for a walk in the sunshine... And failed. I guess after 2 consecutive nights with very little sleep I just couldn't push myself into anything I couldn't do while lying on the sofa...

    Back to the real world today anyway. I had a really nice breakfast this morning, based on a recipe from crockpot365, involving 4 beaten eggs, a splash of single cream, a small leftover chicken sausage (cooked then sliced), some bacon, mushrooms, grated cheese and green pepper cooked over night in the slow cooker. The other half will be tomorrow's breakfast. Yum!!!

    Friday, 5 April 2013

    Antisocial bitch alert

    This weekend I'm going to London with M + 9 relatives from both our families.
    We're going to see Wicked (M & I have seen it before and really liked it) then having dinner at a Chinese restaurant before spending a night at a London hotel.
    I don't want to.
    I'm sure I'll enjoy it when it happens, but at the moment I'm in monumental 'can't be bothered' mode'. Added to by the fact that it was arranged before I went low carb and now it will be harder to stick to that in a Chinese restaurant than, say, a steakhouse. (I'm actually the one who picked the restaurant and pushed it to everyone else!!!!) M thinks I should just take the day / weekend off but I don't want to - not because I'm being obssessional or miserable but because my small breaks last weekend had me up all night feeling like crap and I don't want to feel that way again. (Am I over thinking it? Am I cracking up? I'm I just completely barking mad??? If I knew how I'd put in a poll and let you decide..) Maybe the carbs weren't the problem last weekend, it was a hangover and avoiding that will be enough? Not that that is easy when surrounded by booze and people who are drinking... Ah well, it will be what it will be, and getting het up about it isn't going to help... And breathe...
    In the meantime, I had a relaxing evening and early night yesterday so I'm not feeling as foggy today thankfully, and no longer want to eat sugar - phew!
    Also its not snowing and we've had a little sun though it didn't last until lunchtime for me to get a sunny stroll. I nipped to the nearest shop and nearly froze again. I can't believe how this late cold snap has managed to almost completely erode my pleasure in walking at the moment, its not like me to feel this way at all. I must admit that I used to LOVE walking in cold dry weather - though mainly I guess because my thick layer of self-insulating fat meant I was better protected!
    My mother and father in law are arriving this evening to spend the night & then head into London with us tomorrow morning, so there won't be a lot of time for walking this weekend. If I can manage it I might try to get up early and sneak out for a while before everyone else gets up, I'll see how it goes.
    And I'll be back next week, no doubt still moaning, whinging and complaining...

    Thursday, 4 April 2013

    wuburfwefww wuyg ygw wyef

    That's how my brain is working today.
    I thought I slept reasonably well last night but I'm in a total brain fog today.
    I hate to admit it, but for the first time in weeks I actually wanted something sweet this morning. And at lunchtime. And all afternoon... I assume because feeling so foggy makes me want an energy boost. It wasn't an overwhelming desire, just a mild wish, but its not welcome as I've enjoyed not being interested so much lately.

    I'm so fed up of this bloody weather... I went out briefly at lunchtime and wished I hadn't with every. Single. Step.
    The wind was bitter, the snow was flurrying and my face was freezing, while my hands felt like solid blocks of ice.
    Crap. Bloody bloody hell. How is a person supposed to come off antidepressants when the weather is so damn depressing? Answer: she gets depressed. And half heartedly thinks about sweets. But doesn't buy or eat them. Just wishes she could. And possibly acts like a pouty child for the main part of the day.

    I'm currently reading Wheat Belly by William Davis MD. The science regarding the hybridization and genetic modification of wheat from its ancient origins to today's horribleness (scientific term ;-) ) is fascinating even if it is preaching to the choir when I'm the reader. It's somewhat distracting me from the weather and general miserableness of today thankfully. Moan moan moan moan

    Wednesday, 3 April 2013

    Can't think of much to say today...

    Plodding along with low carb, finding my clothes are fitting me better (the skirts I could hardly get into a month ago are now totally comfortable and the jeans that wouldn't stay fastened any more don't undo themselves any more) and the weight is obviously coming off, though slower than I'd like - so I think I might tweak some things, though I'm certainly not giving up on it. I've been eating a lot of cheese, particularly for snacks - its probably worth cutting back on that. I've also been eating pork scratchings as they satisfy a need for crunch and salt - but some of them are very salty indeed, so its probably worth cutting down on them too to discourage water retention. Also eating nuts - which is allowed on the plan - but not measuring them in any way might not be helping. I plan to try reducing all these things (without running straight out to find replacement vices) and see how that goes. Its hard though, I barely ate cheese for years because I wasn't as keen on the reduced calorie ones I was relying on, and now I'm really enjoying it again!
    Also, I know I keep saying it but its true - I want to train more. This week that's unlikely as we have estate agents visiting every evening to value the house, so need a) to make sure the house is ready and b) don't want to be sweating away on the climber while they are walking round the house, but next week for sure...
    BTW, the chopped liver recipe I mentioned yesterday is very good, even though I screwed up the recipe by using a disproportionate amount of the livers.
    Leftovers for dinner today reducing the contents of the freezer further, plus there is now space in the fridge since I used quite a lot of veg in the turkey soup I've been eating for the last several days. I'm sick of the soup though, and its not done with yet, so I may have to find some room in the freezer and have something else for lunch for a while...

    Tuesday, 2 April 2013

    Back to reality

    The long weekend is over already, how sad is that?
    As you would expect now that we're back in work the sun is shining... Still freezing though, it took five minutes to clear the windscreen of my car so I could drive in to the office this morning.
    I only fitted in 2 walks at the weekend due to house hunting and housework - 5 miles on Saturday and 6 miles on Sunday. The good part of that was that it was sunny for most of the Sunday walk; on Saturday it was cloudy, cold and we even had a few flakes of bloody snow Ffs!
    On the cooking front I got off to a slow start, defrosting stuff and then stashing it in the fridge because I didn't feel like doing anything with it. I did make a curry and an oxtail stew in the interest of having some more interesting food in the freezer, and I cooked low carb liver & onions with balsamic vinegar for lunch yesterday. I didn't hate it - and I expected to - but didn't love it either so it will be a while before I do that again and its never going to become a dietary staple in my repertoire. I also defrosted some chicken livers to make pate, but couldn't be bothered, mainly because I didn't have enough butter in the house. I tried a recipe for chopped liver I found online instead, but can't claim I felt much motivation to do it beyond not wasting the chicken livers. It's chilling now so I don't yet know if its any good. On the plus side, several of the drawers in my freezer now have enough space to fit my hand in, which is a step in the right direction! I don't have the space to freeze large containers of soup or leftovers though, so I'm not done yet - and more to the point, I'm stuck eating the same soup all week because I made a ton!
    I'm glad to report that the small amount of chocolate and larger amount of wine I had on Sunday did not lead to me going back for more, I have gone straight back into low carb living, and didn't feel any real temptation either.... Me likey!!!