Saturday, 30 April 2011

Friday & Saturday

Well, it was lovely not working yesterday, I don't know how I'll last a full week after all these short ones!
I took it easy yesterday with a weekly shop first thing followed by a walk into town just for fun (and to stock up on bbq necessities)
Food Friday:
Breakfast: Huge smoothie of mixed fruit including mango and banana, whey & coconut milk

Lunch: salad with salmon encrusted with sesame seeds and baked

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Dinner: home-made chicken with peanut butter (heaven on a plate!) with courgette noodles. It should have been accompanied by seaweed & cucumber salad, but after making the salad I forgot to dish it up...

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Snacks: Swedish meatballs * 5; dates and Walnuts; a little chocolate

Saturday: I'm typing this into my mobile phone sitting in Wetherspoons in Chepstow at 10 in the morning! Don't worry, I'm drinking coffee and not eating anything at the moment. It's a lovely sunny morning, but with a really strong wind that made the walk in more effort and less fun than usual! I'm planning to look for a couple of inexpensive skirts suitable for wearing to work so I can keep my skirt a week plan alive...

***Finishing later on***

Didn’t find any skirts so I’ll have to try again next week in Bristol I guess…

I considered eating lunch in Chepstow, or in a pub along the walk home, but I was feeling a bit too sweaty and red-faced for company, so I left it until I got home

Food today :
Breakfast: 2 poached eggs, low fat bacon, tinned tomatoes & mushrooms

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Lunch: Mammoth leafy salad topped with tuna salad (tuna, mayo, red onion, celery & a little Dijon mustard)

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Dinner: stir fry with prawns

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Snacks: Greek yoghurt with berries, fruit, dates, coconut biscuit topped with reduced sugar jam

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And another one split and spread with low sugar marmalade

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Thursday, 28 April 2011

Its the weekend again!!!

First up I'd like to thank you, Deisegirl, for your comment yesterday. I agree with everything you said, I think the sad thing for me is that I just don't trust myself to show enough common sense and restraint if I try to eat that normally at the moment so I'm falling into the trap if looking for a magic bullet that will provide motivation and self control while simultaneously killing the desire to binge... still, that's something I need to work on as clearly what I am doing isn't working and you know what they say about repeating the same actions while expecting a different outcome... I confess I bought a bounty bar and some dried fruit at lunchtime... ate the dried fruit but threw half the bounty away before I started it just to make sure I didn't eat the whole thing
I stuck to cardio this morning with a glute burn program on the elliptical walker. I worked up a decent sweat before breakfast and quite enjoyed it.
Living up to my skirt a week promise today... the skirt I picked is quite short, and I've worn it to work once before over tights so thick they might as well have been leggings... today? Over bare legs, and I was completely paranoid about how exposed I feel. Still, definitely outside that comfort zone / rut! I've spent the whole day looking for women in skirts as short or shorter to make myself feel better ;-)

Food today :
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, low fat bacon & grilled portobello mushrooms

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Lunch: jacket potato topped with  tuna salad (tuna, mayo, red onion, celery & a little Dijon mustard)

Dinner:  Ham salad

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Snacks: Greek yoghurt with honey, fruit, 9 bar, dried fruit, half a bounty bar

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Only one more day to go…

To the weekend I mean, not a reference to the hugely boring, annoying and unexciting Royal Wedding…

I only got 6 hours sleep last night, so I really didn't feel like training - but I did it anyway, maybe not the most intense or effective workout, definitely not the most enjoyable, but still I did manage about 22 minutes of strength & stretching + 20 minutes of cardio intervals on the elliptical, so better than nothing, and I felt better for doing it. However the morning passed with terminal slowness and I was starving all the time (possibly boredom....) so I spent the whole morning fighting the urge for yet another binge. Why is it so hard to get back on track after a binge? Seems like building healthy habits takes weeks / months but building unhealthy habits takes a mere 30 seconds face down in the trough...
At lunchtime I decided to try to stave off another battle by getting a 9 bar (pumpkin flavour - my favourite) and that seemed to do the trick, I guess I needed those healthy seed fats!

Food today :
Breakfast:  buckwheat flakes soaked overnight in coconut milk and Greek yoghurt with blueberries and a gluten free grain free coconut biscuit

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Lunch: salad topped with feta cheese, ham & peppers
Dinner: Swedish meatballs with courgette pasta, Arrabiata sauce and a salad

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Snacks: Greek yoghurt with berries, fruit, 9 bar

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Working Tuesday

Trying to get back to normal today despite my mum & her OH visiting and the 3 of us going out to dinner. I did much better, but still nowhere near perfect….
I've been feeling disgusting all weekend even though I drank very little, I suspect because a) too much sugar was eaten and b) I ate more gluten than at any time since my gf experiment first started - white bread, scotch eggs, birthday cake (M was 40 yesterday) and a beer. I spent the weekend eating masses of low nutrition, high calorie junk, and still felt starving all the time, so much so that on Sunday night, for the first time ever, I had a midnight snack because hunger was actually keeping me awake...
Any way, although I lacked the energy to train this morning I am feeling somewhat more like myself, so hopefully that will last at least long enough to undo the damage of the weekend - keep your fingers crossed for me? I wish I could say that all the over-indulgence had killed the urge to eat sweet stuff, but that would be a lie, as I'm still thinking far too much about chocolate, so its not going to be easy... even though I'm enjoying eating healthier meals again! (note to self - chocolate banana cream pie, however delicious & gf, is not a good idea for breakfast...)
Lunchtime, once again, I went for a walk & shop. The weather today was a bit of a come-down after the weekend (I got what I choose to describe as a tan!) as it was cooler, more overcast and had a very chilly breeze, but at least it was dry. I bought some walking trousers that I hope will act as a compromise between the coolness of shorts or thin trousers and the protectiveness of thick, hot denim when I go walking along the nettle-infested embankment to town.

Food today:
Breakfast:  3 spinach bread 'rolls' spread with goats cheese, 3 rashers of LF Bacon & dry fried mushrooms

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Lunch: salad topped with feta cheese & peppers
Dinner: Welsh black rump steak with jacket potato and peas (plus one onion ring before giving the rest to my Mum) Apologies for the flash, it wasn’t my idea but I only had the camera in my phone and don’t know how to turn off the flash.

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followed by a bit of strawberry trifle… see? Not perfect.

Snacks: protein water, Greek yoghurt with berries, fruit, bag of Nestle’s Randoms. Not perfect… again. But still, two sweet things widely spread through the day beats day long picking and leaves me feeling fairly in control – at least by comparison to the weekend.

Monday, 25 April 2011

Drawing a line

Under the weekend that turned into a crap-fest of bingeing and feeling like garbage because I went off the GF band wagon.

Aarrggh

Tomorrow is another day….

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Well, hi there!

Sorry I disappeared off for a few days again there. How is your Easter holiday going?

I couldn’t think of anything to say on Thursday, and then the same on Friday, and I can’t say that I have much that’s more interesting today, but I was missing you so I thought I’d stop by anyway.  The BBQ yesterday went really well, but because I was the one grilling for 4, I didn’t get any photos of the food, so you’ll just have to picture it mentally, OK?

Anyway, I’ll start on Thursday. Because it was a Bank Holiday weekend, and due to be a hot one, I figured that the roads would be hell on earth Thursday afternoon, and took a half day to beat the rush. Even heading for home at 12 I saw quite a few caravans heading towards Wales and Dorset / Cornwall, so I think I made the right choice – plus it gave me the chance for an extra walk into town in the sunshine. Its was so warm I actually felt slightly dehydrated when I got there, even though it only took about 35 minutes for the walk. First time I ever picked up a drink while shopping and drank half before paying for it!

Friday: Baking cookies, making the best chocolate banana cream pie I ever had (this recipe), walking into town, driving all over Monmouthshire stocking up and booze and party food…

Saturday: Housework first thing, loads of food and too much booze (and I mixed GF beer, normal beer and cider – big mistake, as I ended up feeling a bit nauseous). A lovely walk with my FiL, we just went into town along the embankment, but stopped for some cider at the pub on the way back. And then my ‘friend’ the young horse I showed you a week or two ago bit my arm while we were chatting on the way back, so I’m not talking to him now…. Baring teeth smileI think he was pissed because I didn’t have any carrots this time!

Food Thursday:

Breakfast: Asparagus and baked sweet potato topped with (slightly overcooked) poached eggs

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Lunch: Salad with cheese, chicken etc

Dinner: Salmon encrusted with sesame seeds, roasted with the vegetables

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Friday:

Breakfast: Made this smoothie with baked sweet potato added in – not a fan, I must have used too much sweet potato and that’s all I could taste

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Lunch: Yep, chicken salad… again

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Dinner: And chicken stir fry (cluck cluck cluck)

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Saturday

Breakfast: The dark green mess is sautéed spinach, the rest seems self explanatory…

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Lunch: Tons of animal protein. I like to cook a mixture when I BBQ so it feels likes its worth lighting the fire and messing with charcoal. I must admit I expected to have leftovers, but every last scrap was eaten (not the salad, just the meat!!!)

I did: Sausages (gourmet & GF) – I had 2 in the end

Burgers: Gourmet for everyone else, gf for me, in rolls, again mine was GF

Skewers of chicken in Honey BBQ sauce (Budweisers brand)

Skewers of rump steak, cubed but not marinated

Lamb mince-mint kebabs from Tesco

Pork chops

And salad, with coleslaw etc

Dinner: Buffet with cold meats, cheeses, cookies, banana cream pie (so good I’d eat it even if I wasn’t eating GF), vegetable crisps and so on and so on… Here’s the banana chocolate cream pie though nothing else got snapped…

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Snacks: Masses of chocolate eaten throughout the day

Today:

Breakfast: Half a scotch egg (not GF, but I couldn’t help myself), chocolate, and other crap. (Some of it may have looked a lot like the slice of pie above….)I’m a little hung-over and craving garbage this morning

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Better today

No binge yesterday, a relaxing rest on my Yantra mat before bed, and a few gory murders CSI New York style made yesterday a much more relaxing day!
I slept better than I have for about a week even though I'd had to break my no-caffeine rule, and started this morning with 20 minutes body weight / kettle bells / dumb-bell strength training and 20 minutes on the elliptical just to finish waking up. My arms feel like lead now - love it!
I also decided to step outside my comfort zone by wearing a summer-ish skirt to work today - 99.9999 % of the time I wear dark trousers, so while that doesn't sound like much its a bigger deal for me than it should be! Unfortunately I couldn't wear my usual ankle boots with the skirt and my alternative shoes were a lot less comfortable, so it did shorten my walk a bit, but it was still a pleasant and worthwhile change and I want to try to keep wearing more varied and feminine clothes at least once a week while the weather's so nice. I'll just have to break the shoes in a bit! I did make it to the St Nicholas market again - we're having my parents-in-law over on Saturday so I was looking for nibbles, but in the end settled for just getting some nice white bread for them all to eat, some vintage cider for me, and some asparagus just because (locally grown new season dead expensive asparagus - but I love it!)

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, grilled portobello mushrooms and sautéed spinach

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Lunch: salad topped with roast chicken breast and low fat cheddar

Dinner: fresh tuna steak with Butternut squash chips and roasted vegetables

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Snacks: Greek yoghurt with fruit, cashew cookie Nak'd bar

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Confession time...

Last night turned into a slightly odd binge on meringue nests and freshly roasted chicken. I did not weigh today. I slept badly, got up early, and as (stupid and inefficient) penance, did 2 40 minute programs on the elliptical walker before breakfast. Then while getting dressed I caught sight of myself in the mirror and realised that even though I'm the heaviest I've been for about 3 years, I'm still nowhere near regaining all the weight I lost... and that could change if I keep up this self-pitying, guilty eating crap.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

Also, even if I stayed at this weight forever (which apparently I can do even while bingeing, eating chocolate etc.) I'd still be at a healthy weight (just) so why do I feel like such a failure? Because figuring this stuff out but not actually believing it is not motivation enough to kill the desire to comfort eat myself into oblivion, I guess...

I walked at lunchtime obviously, and it was a really beautiful day. It's a bit weird how long this early summer is lasting, but I'm not complaining!

Food today:

Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs and low fat bacon

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Lunch: salad topped with roast chicken breast and low fat cheddar

Dinner: Chicken stir fry with courgette noodles

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Snacks: protein water, Greek yoghurt with blueberries, fruit

Monday, 18 April 2011

Catching up again

Nothing very interesting happened yesterday... a pleasant sunny walk, movie afternoon (Toy Story 3)

Today is rest day of course, apart from walking to M&S to return some trousers I bought without trying them on on Saturday. Based in the label on the hanger they should've fit me, but the label on the trousers themselves would have told me they were a size bigger in every dimension and a longer length than I wear... had I bothered to read it! A mistake I greatly regretted as I stood in a mile long queue moving at snail's pace through my lunch break.

Food yesterday
Breakfast: almond pancakes made with dried cherries & berries, drizzled with coconut butter & a few raspberries

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Lunch: salad with grilled vegetables & chicken

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Dinner: chicken fried cauliflower rice

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Nuts and a Greek yoghurt with berries

Food today:

Breakfast: blueberry almond muffins sandwiched with a very little peanut butter and reduced sugar jam

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Lunch: salad topped with jerk chicken (very very spicy!)

Dinner: pan fried rump steak with grilled vegetables

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Snacks: fruit, protein water, dried fruit & nuts plus some ham eaten in an attempt to not eat sweet stuff while knackered and starving (which failed as I eventually had a Snickers bar. And then a meringue nest after dinner)

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Cardiff Saturday

Yesterday I had to go into Cardiff to pick up my watch, which had been in the shop since my last visit a couple of weeks ago. Rather than make it a quick business, trip I invited my brother along for a day out!

It was a great day, morning warm and sunny, afternoon (by which time we’d done all we wanted anyway) cooler and breezier. I spent a fortune on work, casual & training clothes, he spent considerably less. We had a really nice chat, a good lunch, and then he stayed on into the evening when we got home chatting and watching Modern Family. More Saturdays should be like that…

I do admit to eating too many sweets. There’s a bulk buy stall in Cardiff market that does sweet / spicy flavoured nuts, chocolate covered nuts and fruit etc. We went there twice yesterday and both bought a ton of stuff, and he, M and I polished off a disturbing amount of it yesterday afternoon. Ah, but it was good!!!

Food today:

Breakfast: Egg salad in lettuce wraps

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Lunch: Gourmet Burger Kitchen Buffalo burger (no bun) with salad. My brother had a classic burger with a side of onion rings but even with my help (yes, I know they’[re not gluten free!!!) we barely made a dent in them

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Dinner: Prawns and salad for me, home-made pizza for M & my brother.

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Snacks: Greek yoghurt with blueberries before we went out; too much chocolate covered orange peel, yoghurt coated cranberries, honey & chilli cashews, dark chocolate brazils, and more….

Friday, 15 April 2011

Friday at last

Today started badly when I woke up in the early hours and couldn't get back to sleep, so I spent the morning feeling like shit - sandy brain, aching bloodshot eyes, mainlining caffeine.... (which caught up with me early afternoon, making me jittery and over-anxious...
I did train, but didn't risk any strength training, settling for 40 lackadaisical minutes on the elliptical walker.
I did walk / shop at lunchtime, but without enthusiasm, just to wake myself up a bit. In fact I've been incredibly depressed all bloody day....
Boy, I make a big deal out of a bad night, don't I? Who knows how I'd react if something bad happened to me...

On the plus side, I was this close || to stopping on the way home to buy a bucket load of chocolate, but in the end, managed to make it home in one piece with no chocolate whatsoever!

Food today:

Breakfast: blueberry almond muffins drizzled with coconut butter and reduced sugar jam

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Lunch: salad topped with tuna mayo from the canteen.

Dinner: pork & turnip meatballs with vegetable noodles

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Snacks: fruit, cocoa orange Nak’d bar, Greek yoghurt with blueberries

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Is it the weekend yet?

Started this morning with yoga - well, my beginners dvd, which is only loosely connected to yoga - followed by 35mins on the stationary bike while watching an episode of Supernatural.
My lunchtime walk to do some shopping lacked a certain something... now what was it? Oh yes... sunshine & warmth, that was it. I guess summer has been and gone as today has been overcast, dull and grey. Yesterday evening was worse though, freezing cold and wet as well so I suppose I shouldn't complain...

It's now been nearly two weeks since self-loathing & disgust led to me abandoning food tracking (except on here obviously) and I'm now just about feeling ready to start recording my intake properly, I think...

Food today:

Breakfast: eggs scrambled with ham & mushrooms with sautéed spinach, apparently eaten at the bottom of a mine shaft….

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Lunch: cream of chicken soup from the canteen

Dinner: vegetable noodles & more veg, stir fried with prawns

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Snacks: fruit, protein smoothie, roast chicken, another smoothie

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Well…. Wednesday

Today got off to quite a good start - I got up a little earlier than usual, so I decided to warm up with my 15 min beginners yoga dvd then move on to resistance and cardio afterwards. I enjoyed the whole package more than usual (I must admit I generally skimp on the warm up because I find it boring and resent the time it takes)
No lunchtime walk today because I only worked a half day, then rushed home to meet my Mum & her OH for lunch and a bit of gardening shopping before an afternoon appointment. Much more fun than solo stomping around Bristol!

Unfortunately my Mum is a BAD example (or I’m just a bad girl….) I baked some biscuits this afternoon, which I resisted totally, but I also turned a fruit loaf from my freezer into Bread & Butter pudding (soaking it in low fat Ambrosia custard) and as it was too huge for them I had some too – so not only no ‘No Sugar’, but also not gluten free….. ah well, what’s one day? I also had some fudge and some ginger coated in dark chocolate (literally a couple of pieces)

Food today:

Breakfast: almond flour muffins that I made last night, drizzled with softened coconut butter and topped with reduced sugar jam. I used this recipe and added a couple of handfuls of frozen blueberries to the batter. Yum! And though the size of my muffin tin forced me to make smaller muffins than the recipe suggested, they were more filling than I thought they would be.(See before and after drizzling below…) I made 6, and had 2 for breakfast

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Lunch: Gammon steak with grilled pineapple & chips, peas & salad

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Dinner: broccoli- 3 cheese soup

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Snacks: fruit, protein smoothie, roast chicken, protein water

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Tuesday

Well, yesterday's dinner ended very balanced - cold chicken, dried fruit & raw Walnuts...
And this mornings weigh-in was pretty horrific... but as I'm aware of how much salt I added to my lunchtime chips yesterday, that was entirely expected!
This morning I managed to do a short resistance circuit followed by an interval program on the elliptical, so I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, despite the best efforts of the bathroom scales...
Lovely sunny walk at lunchtime as well, to add to the positive feelings! In fact, its 3 for 3 since I even have quite an interesting assignment in work to get my brain ticking over!

Food today:

Breakfast: scrambled eggs, LF bacon & dry fried mushrooms and onions

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Lunch: chicken veg soup

Dinner: grilled salmon served with grilled vegetables

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Snacks: fruit, small protein smoothie, Greek yoghurt with honey (I forgot about the no sugar thing till it was too late - ah well, no urge to binge anyway) and some cold chicken breast

Monday, 11 April 2011

Monday again

Rest day today, so no resistance / cardio machine training this morning
I did do a 15 minute beginners yoga DVD yesterday afternoon for the first time in months. I was so stiff and inflexible I realised the need to keep it up a bit, even if I just use it as a warm-up before doing more intensive training. I also went for a walk, stopping off on the way back to bribe my new equine friends to like me better with carrots and stroking ;-)

Food yesterday:
Breakfast: onions & peppers slowly stewed in tinned tomatoes with garlic, in which I poached a couple of eggs. I ate a tiny strip of bbq’d rump steak and an equally tiny lamb leg fillet with it.

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Lunch: chicken veg soup with spinach added

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Dinner: stir fried veggies & veg noodles with strips of turkey breast steak flavoured with 5 spice powder, garlic & ginger

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Snacks: a protein smoothie, some ham, a gingerbread Nak'd bar & some nuts

Food today:

Breakfast: spinach bread 'rolls' with LF bacon & a grilled portobello mushroom, followed by full fat Greek yoghurt & fruit after I arrived at work

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Lunch: oops... bit of a glitch... Thai chicken soup - chicken thighs and vegetables cooked in coconut milk, chicken stock & Thai yellow curry paste. Plus a smoothie, some nuts, a small portion of chips/fries, and a Bounty. Ah well, I'm back on the wagon now... and reinstating the sugar avoidance rule guideline. My only excuse is that I'm so tired I could use a slap in the face with a wet kipper just to wake me up...

Dinner: Nothing so far….

Snacks: fruit, protein water, roast chicken breast

Saturday, 9 April 2011

First BBQ of the year–summer must be here!

So, I christened the barbecue today, did you guess? Its been so amazingly, wonderfully summery and beautiful here today I can’t believe it!

This morning I walked into town. It was lovely and mild, and I thoroughly enjoyed every step. On the way home, I made some new friends…

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Even though they were clearly a little wary and nervous they actually came up to say hello (looking for food no doubt) and I got to stroke some noses!

This afternoon we watched Shrek Ever After. I know its been criticised as nowhere near as good as the others, but I still enjoyed it, and I’m not afraid to admit it. There’s something about singing donkeys, talking cat and belching ogres that just never fails to entertain me!

Then we pulled out the new barbecue we bought for a family BBQ we’re planning for July. Last time we did that we were using a new BBQ for the first time, and it took ages to get it up to cooking temperature (while all our family members got p*ssed waiting to eat) so we decided not to risk leaving it that long this time! The BBQ we bought also has a second cooking area for smoking, so you know you’ll be hearing / seeing something I’ve smoked somewhere down the line!

I didn’t do any resistance training today, but my rucksack was heavy so I’d say that makes up for it a bit… doesn’t it?

Food today:

Breakfast: A carbon copy of yesterday’s but with less pretty pancakes, so you can have the one from yesterday again…

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Lunch: 3 cheese broccoli soup with added gammon ham

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Dinner: The BBQ…….. (I didn’t finish all the meat, so some will be eaten tomorrow)

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Snacks: Smoothie of summer fruit, banana, whey, romaine lettuce & coconut milk

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A handful of walnuts and some cold meat