I think I want to binge. Except I don’t want the actual binge, just the general feeling of disconnection and focus that comes while having a binge. I said earlier I wanted chocolate, but that’s not the whole picture. I’ve had to stop reading foodie blogs for the day because although I wanted chocolate while staring at a photo of a cupcake, I wanted pasta while reading about that, French bread with olive oil and pesto, and pizza while reading another post… about the only thing I don’t want is the salad that is actually planned for my dinner.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me today. I had a nice, not too warm walk this morning;
got my hair cut and wasn’t too horrified by the results (even when only getting a trim, it usually takes me 3 days to decide my hair actually wasn’t butchered) and did some shopping. So far, so good, except that the rucksack coming home was a little heavy for shoulders that were feeling yesterday’s 30 day shred a bit.
I watched an oldish movie when I got back (The Untouchables – I can’t believe Kevin Costner ever looked that young!) and quite enjoyed it. I didn’t love my lunch, but I liked it well enough. So what has made me crave an unhealthy behaviour that I worked at getting out of my life? I really don’t know. I guess I’m just weird today. All I know is that my calories are higher than I want them to be and I’m not expecting to like tomorrow’s weigh in. And I’m probably not finished with eating stuff I didn’t plan on when I got up this morning.
Breakfast: All bran with strawberries and toast with cottage cheese and jam
Lunch: Quorn black bean chilli with extra Sriracha sauce, wheat-berries (spelt) and salad
Dinner: Salad with
smoked tofu and peppers a sandwich of grilled veggies (marinated in Nando’s Extra hot peri peri sauce) and caramelised onion houmous – with a little more houmous as a salad dressing. Definitely could have been a worse choice given my mood! And I did compromise a little bit – my first thought was to defrost a hunk of French bread to make the sandwich with (and that probably would’ve been better – maybe another time, when I haven’t been feeling so weird all day long) but I settled for a couple of small pieces of low calorie bread. I used to make a meal out of a sandwich (usually a grilled ham & cheese sandwich) and a salad when I was a student and I’d forgotten how satisfying it could be! I must remember that for the future!
Snacks: Way too much peanut butter. A bag of We Are Bear Granola courtesy of Waitrose. (eaten when the chocolate craving was at its height – it’s not chocolate, but it is sweet!) A portion of ‘Not-Really Overnight’ overnight protein oats – oats, plus half a sliced frozen banana, plus cookies & cream whey powder and soya milk, all topped off with dried apple.
Plus quite a bit more dried apple. And a hard boiled egg on toast
The urge for chocolate seems to have passed now (thanks for the suggestion of a chocolate protein smoothie though Bearfriend, I will try to think of that the next time my cravings cycle back there (probably in about an hour))
Weight: 10 st 2 lbs (142 lbs)