Started the day with the all bran and mixed fruit you saw in my earlier post. I then took a protein bar with me and walked over the fields into town again. It's harder work walking that way because the ground is so uneven, so I was quite out of breath a few times! I did a little shopping in town, then went home and drove instead of walking to Chepstow for some bigger stuff I couldn't carry home on foot. As I walked up and down the aisles in Tesco I found myself looking for chocolately yumminess to buy and scoff... I don't know why, except that we were having some people stop by this afternoon and I'm very inept socially in the real world - I get over-anxious about my hostess abilities. But I screwed down the 'I need a calming binge' feelings and only bought what I planned to!!! Yay me!
For lunch I had an Innocent Veg pot - Mexican sweet potato chilli - with some green beans. It was very tasty!
In the afternoon I had a Nakd Apple Pie bar for my snack. It was pretty good - I'm liking these raw bars more and more these days.
M's friends popped by about 3:30 and there was a little coffee drinking, some beer, a lot of talking and laughing, and some wii playing till they had to go. It was fun - not as scary as I expected, though I did manage to f*ck up at the end. I was about to ask them if they wanted to stay for something to eat, when the guy said they had to leave because he'd promised his daughter they'd be back at a certain time. So I didn't make the offer because if I'm the guest, and I'm offered food, I always feel I have to say yes - and feel uncomfortable if for some reason I can't. I genuinely didn't say anything because I didn't want to make him / them feel the way I would in their place - but now I just feel like a crap inhospitable hostess for not doing so. (and I'm afraid that M thinks I am too) I hate being so rubbish at social situations. Why can't I be one of those people to whom this stuff comes naturally? Please don't hate me for being so weird and neurotic about this stuff, I don't know what comes over me except it feels like a sort of verbal paralysis... aaarrrggghhh, I'm an idiot. I was a very shy child, and in the real world still am, and I guess this is just a hang-up from that. The annoying thing is, I'd come up with a plan for feeding them upfront - I was going to offer them home-made pizzas and let them chose from a load of toppings. So after they'd gone, pizza is what we had - mine was a vegetable pizza - with home-made oven chips. The picture doesn't look great, but it was tasty if you ignore the stressed rock in my stomach. And the slight tears thing going on right now. I really need to work on my social skills.
On the slight - very slight - plus side, the said rock in my stomach means I don't feel like binging any more...
Supper (forced down for protein): Fromage frais with a bit of St Dalfour Mirabelle Plum jam