Monday, 17 August 2009

Who ate my weekend?

That would be me.... I didn't go crazy binge-monstery but I did nibble all weekend long, including (over 3 days) the entire 500 ml tub of B&J's cherry garcia yoghurt. Finished myself off yesterday with half a melon (Piel de Capo or something - that sounds a bit mafia-y to me so that might be wrong!) and by bedtime I felt like my stomach looked as though I'd just tied the half melon onto my stomach, skin and all, huge bulge - I think though, that was just my paranoia working. I was bloated though!
I'm going to keep looking for my self control but I think the problem is that although I do want (very much) to lose this holiday weight I'm so DAMN BORED of thinking about dieting and feeling guilty when I eat something other than a vegetable that I can't get motivated. Especially as I have a major pig-out - AKA family barbecue - on Saturday so I already feel like this week's a blow-out for me. Why does dieting demand such overwhelming self-obsessive-ness? Even I'm fed up with my endless complaining, so its a good job no-one else knows about this blog! I'm tempted to say that I'll aim to maintain this month, and see if I regain my motivation. After all, I'm in the healthy weight / BMI range, my slim clothes still fit, and that means wanting to lose the last few pounds is more about vanity than necessity. I think that's a good plan! And as part of that plan, I'm going to institute a rut-busting WEEK next week! (Not this week, as cooking takes too long that way and I have loads of house cleaning to fit in this week getting ready for the barbecue). But next week there will be no dinners that I've cooked before, and if I can manage it, a few new lunches as well. (I will probably not change breakfast completely though, as I don't have masses of time in the mornings)
Food today:
All bran with strawberries.
Big salad with some Cauldron falafels, peppers, red onion etc. HOLY HELL I thought it was a sweet, mild red onion - I feel like it attacked my sinuses with an apple corer!!! Next time I'll soak it in cold water for 30 minutes first. Really liked the falafels though, I'm looking forward to finishing the pack tomorrow. I also had a cheesecake from the canteen. It looked weird - like a normal cheesecake that had had honey poured on top - so I bought it out of curiosity. It was actually very nice, shame really as I ate it all...
Mild turkey chilli made with a jar sauce, brown rice and another salad
Fromage frais with raspberries and peaches, a summer fruit-spinach protein smoothie, and I've got an emergency apple just in case.
Weight this morning: 10 st 6.25 lbs (146.5 lbs)

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