Monday, 29 June 2009
Is it emotional eating if you eat when bored?
I don't tend to eat as much when I'm depressed as I do when I'm bored. I don't tend to want to binge when I'm happy (which is too bad because M is always looking for an excuse to 'celebrate' with food and especially wine, and I just don't feel it.) But one habit I absolutely cannot break is eating when I'm bored. This is bad, because I have the most boring job in the world. Seriously. If any other job is half as boring I can't think what it might be - and I've worked in a meat packing factory (before starting university - I needed the money!)
I'm ravenous when I'm tired (like today) but I don't think that is an emotion, that's just my body trying to find some energy from somewhere (SUUUUGAAAR...). But when I'm bored - even when I'm already full - I find myself thinking about what I can eat next for something to do, and then I find myself eating my mid-morning snack at 9am, my afternoon snack at 10 am, my lunch at 11am.... luckily most of the time I manage to stop at that, but I sometimes find myself eating dessert at 12....
How do you stop eating out of boredom? I've thought about leaving my (pre-packed) lunch in the car until my lunch break so I just can't get at it, but at this time of year I think I'd end up food poisoned, which probably isn't worth it.
I thought about bringing less food (I only bring one day's worth but also keep a few alternatives in cans in my drawer in case I can't face yet another salad) and no money, but it occurred to me that having no cash at all was risky - what if something happened to the car? And what about the endless collections for birthdays and leaving cards? I do leave most of my cash in the car, but I can (and often do) go out and get more of it if I 'need' something else to eat.
People with will power - or who just don't like food much - would probably say 'just don't do it' but its not that easy. At home I have the option of going for a walk, taking a bath, going to bed early, training, cross stitch or nail painting and a dozen other distractions / busy works to fill the time (and it still doesn't always work) but I don't think any of those are options for work - my boss might start wondering what he's paying me for! I've actually considered hypnosis to improve my relationship with food, but I'm not entirely convinced it works so it doesn't really seem like a great idea to shell out for (I believe) multiple sessions of something I have no confidence in. Ditto therapy (besides that seems extreme to me - why should I bore some innocent bystander, who's never done anything to me, with my self-obsessed drivel at £X phr when I can vent on here for free and no-one has to read it?)
I can't blog - or read my other people's blogs - here at work for inspiration, but I can type up my own entries sans photos in Notepad and that does keep my mind and hands busy for a while at least so I guess this is the best answer I have. If there are 58 mind-numbingly tedious entries in one day, that's a sign that I've been bored - and avoiding the vending machines as much as possible. Some time I may also try to write something that someone might eventually find entertaining - if I ever decide to let anyone know about this blog, which is doubtful.