Friday, 29 July 2016

Day 5

I avoided total binge today by the skin of my teeth - but I did eat crappy annoying sugary garbage in unnecessary quantities. Hey, at least I am learning to spot the warning signs, now I just have to figure out how to stop the free fall...
Today was annoyingly hot and sticky but I was able to get out of the house - and walked over 5, nearly 5 and a half miles. Of course some of that was to buy chocolate but...
Still no jobs. Mildly depressed about that. Thanks Joy & Rachel for your support - sorry I'd already done something stupid :-(

Thursday, 28 July 2016

Day 4

Still no job.
Still no binge.
Are the two things connected?
Probably!
Today was fairly dull so I apologise for the dullness of the resulting post.
I slept well last night and woke up feeling OK. As the morning wore on though I seemed to run out of energy. I would have gone out for a walk in the hope it would be refreshing, but I was waiting in for a phone call - which didn't materialise until 12:40. In that call a guy who was supposed to be coming round to the house today said he had to visit one other customer first, then he'd come to us. I think I was justified in assuming he would arrive between 13:30 and 14:00 don't you? Nope, he actually arrived just after 15:30 and was here for half an hour - so I literally wasn't able to leave the house till 16:05, and while hanging about waiting for him, spent so long lying on the bed that I started to wonder if I could be getting bed sores! 
When he finally left I dashed out to Tesco because the interminable wait had me longing for a beer. I do feel that going to the supermarket in that mood, I deserve to be proud of the fact that I didn't buy all the gf cookies and cakes - and even more proud of the fact that I didn't really want to! But I have to admit that I have been having some thoughts and feelings that are familiar from past pre-binges - so please keep your fingers crossed for me and if possible tell me not to be stupid before I dive back into that self destructive pool...

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Day 3

Two consecutive bad nights = low energy and some grumpiness. 
Still no binge though!
I've taken a sleep aid, I took it earlier than the manufacturer recommends because it generally takes longer to kick in than they say but tonight seems to be different  zzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Day 2

In the past two days I haven't found a single contract to apply for. I'm not applying for jobs all over the country yet, or permie jobs, I'm only looking for a local contract but the market is dire. I'm not going to say I regret my last contract ending, but being off isn't all rainbows, unicorns and kittens.
My back is a lot better today - not 100% but about 80% better, which is good. I walked another 6 miles today in between spending a few hours at the library because of Internet troubles again - happily they have free WiFi for members. I was quite impressed by how busy it was - in the morning it was full of kids, joining the library so they take part in a reading challenge to be completed over the summer holidays, and in the afternoon there was some kind of discussion group - from the outside I wasn't certain I'd they were talking movies or book - or maybe movie adaptations of books - but they seemed quite enthusiastic. It's nice to see that library being used properly - and hopefully it should protect it in the next run of closures (the local council is currently in consultation over which to keep)
It was bright and sunny all day but I felt it was a bit cooler and that was welcome. Especially for the walks and my morning visit to the skip with a car load of grass clippings. 
Apart from the skip and the Internet problems it was quite a quiet, pleasant day. If someone would like to pay me for that it would be nice....

Monday, 25 July 2016

I'm free!!!

My last day at work was a bit weird. I was busy all day - which should not be the case when you've been told that you're not needed. In fact they were at panic stations trying to get a lot of work done very quickly, and I helped as much as I could just so that the day would pass more quickly. Over the weekend I was a bit up and down in my spirits - Saturday especially was kind of emotional. Yet I didn't binge - wasn't even tempted. I did a little walking both days and M collected his new motorbike from the showroom on Saturday - that was about all that happened. 
And so to today. My first unemployed day was kind of weird, frustrating and ultimately painful. I had made up a list of chores to get done this week, planning to do something every day and still have time to enjoy some of my time off. But this morning, after doing a rather belated house tidy, I discovered that I couldn't connect to the Internet - and I didn't manage to until after lunch. So instead of going for a leisurely walk in the morning I mowed the lawn and spent hours hitting the connect button on my network preferences, swearing and threatening to destroy all the computer hardware in the house. 
I then walked to the hairdressers for a trim (should have happened two weeks ago). After lunch I went to the library and Tesco, and then later realised I'd forgotten to get lettuce for a salad I was planning for this evening so I went back again. All in all I walked just under 6.5 miles (including the lawn mowing) and was quite pleased with that.
But.
I always find that the repetitive motions of hoovering or mowing (or mopping floors) make my back ache. Yes, I know that sounds like an excuse to get out of housework, but it's not. That's why I originally planned to hoover today, mow tomorrow or Wednesday, and take things easy. I should have stuck to that plan because by about 3 this afternoon I had to take a coolish bath to try to relax it a bit - which helped for a while and then wore off. Hopefully it will sort itself out over night.... Right now? It hurts quite a lot. Quite a lot.

Thursday, 21 July 2016

Only one more day to go

I went into the office today and my back repeatedly seized up in protest. I think the drive in to work was enough to annoy it and it just never let up.
Despite the back ache I still behaved myself in terms of food; needless to say I didn't train or get a real walk. I was busy all day and didn't have time to get bored, which definitely helps time move a lot quicker. Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel it's not quite as unbearable working there - isn't that just typical!

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Still too damned hot

I worked from home again today and barely left the house because of the unbearable heat. I did pop to the library and Tesco at lunchtime - about 2 miles - but I didn't enjoy it much given the temperature. 
Still no desire to binge at all - possibly the lack of crap in the house helps with that, but then I did walk around Tesco without feeling the urge. Even though I was shattered after about 4 hours sleep last night. I was partly struggling with the heat and humidity but I also managed to walk into a side table before bed and badly bruising my little toe - and every time I turned over and my toe rubbed against the bed sheet it instantly woke me up again. What an idiot! Moral of the story - if walking into a dark room, turn on the damn light and watch where you're going... Come to think of it, maybe that was another reason I didn't enjoy my lunchtime walk...